Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The truth is, I like you guys. All of you. I just wanted to express that yesterday. I still love Chris too. I actually almost peed my pants reading his comments.
Speaking of voiding in one's pants, I'm sitting here typing, and our cat Madeline just snuck through the cat door rather furtively. She was doing her business in the litter box, and when she was done, she snuck through the door with her head down and looked both ways to see if anyone saw her. I can't really blame her though. If I went into someone's house and crapped in a box, I would probably try to keep it on the downlow too.
I wonder if Chris has ever done that...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Warning: this may be a rambling post. Just thought that should be said.
Look what I got from a new blog friend of mine!
Thanks so much! I won this simply for being a new reader of megryansmom. I really am amazed at how the blog world can bring people together. It is so much fun, and I really am enjoying *virtually* meeting people. I feel like I have known many of you for a long time. Blogging has been a great experience for me. I really appreciate all of you!
**Update** I also have discovered I have a reader from Turkey! Don't know who you are, but welcome!
Now, as the saying goes..."should old acquaintence be forgot...", I would like to say that some of my original Debland readers are not commenting anymore! These are folks I know in real life, and I have missed seeing their shiny happy comments. One of my readers, who at this point WILL REMAIN NAMELESS, said she doesn't know any of my commenters anymore, and feels weird about commenting! What? No way. I cannot accept this. I just want this to be one big happy commenting family, ok? A functional family. I've already done the dysfunctional family thing (growing up in my weird home), and as fun as that was, I'm not looking to repeat that anytime soon. So, you know who you are...come back and join in! Debland is a place where we can actually employ the bullshit we were taught in preschool and kindergarten. Bullshit, you ask? Yes, remember how we were told that "we all can play together, we are all friends, we can all get along..." This will actually work here. It doesn't work anywhere in the real world.
Now, please do not mistake this for an invitation for bullshit comments. Yes, Chris (my little bro), this means you!
Speaking of Chris, you've got to get to know him better. He is so freakin' funny, and likeable despite his, how should I put this, his Chris-ness. Chris - make yourself known here! I think I'll have Chris guest post one day soon. He is a rare find. Not like a diamond or anything, but more like a weird growth or something. He's not malignant but is fascinating, disturbing, and despite your best effort, you can't stop looking at him, or wanting to know more. Trust me, you'll see.
My sister Lisa is a hoot too. I would love to get her to guest post. I'll get on that right away. Lisa loves beating Chris, so perhaps I shall make it a contest to see who offers to guest post first.
Seriously, my siblings really are my friends. I can't imagine my life without them, and I will blatantly assume without asking them that they feel the same way about me. Right guys? Right? Hey, guys????
Then you have friends who are like family. There are a few amazing people in my life that I am so fortunate to have. You all know who you are, so there is no need to name names. Thanks for being there. Honestly, I don't know how these people put up with me. But they do, and I am so grateful for them. They even like me when I have green booger filled bloodshot eyes and stained clothes. They like me even when I spit food out when laughing excessively while drinking cocktails with them. I don't recall any of them smacking me with a purse. That, is true friendship.
So, even in my head filled with all kinds of craziness and random thoughts, I hope that all of you know how much I appreciate you for the part that you play in my life.
Now, where did I put that scotch??
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I'm not usually a super cheap person, but I hate having to reorder contacts, and frankly, I think they can last longer than 2 weeks.
I opened my last new pair of contact lenses 8/22. Yes, about 6 weeks ago. I knew they were getting old, because, well, I just knew. But, I only have a couple pair left, and I haven't gotten around to making a doctor's appt, blah blah blah. I remember thinking to myself late last week, that I really should get a new pair going.
Anyhow, my daughter Alissa tried out with he violin and got a spot in a children's orchestra. A fairly well known orchestra. Good and bad. Good, because it offers opportunities for her I never would have dreamed of, and she has earned it, but bad, because this particular orchestra tends to have snooty type families involved in it. Generally, the parents are well to do, pushy (super pushy), and are pretty impressed with themselves. Not all of them, but most of them.
I wondered how I would fit in with this particular group of people given the fact that I'm not rich, ... and not rich. I suppose I can be a bit pushy, and I am not necessarily impressed with myself, but I do amuse myself. That being said, I don't run around in society circles, have my child in a seriously OVERPRICED private swanky school, don't live in a gigantic house in a rich neighborhood, and well, I guess my sense of humor is odd at best. What you see is what you get when you get to know me. However, I didn't want Alissa to be completely ostracized by my weirdness, so I've been trying to be on my best behavior at the rehearsals. I've kept to myself, with a dutiful nod and smile here and there, but mostly I just try to read during this time.
Enter last Friday. I get Alissa to rehearsal, and realize that I'm wearing my old Target jeans, a tshirt, and a zipper sweatshirt. Whoops. Oh, and the t shirt is stained. Good move. I find my spot, sit down, and read this horrible book I've been trying to get through. Sound good?
About halfway through the rehearsal, my eyes start stinging, watering, and generally hurt like hell. I close my eyes, trying to find relief, to no avail. I had no extra pair of contacts, or glasses for that matter. Of course, this is the night one of the moms approaches me. She comes up in the seat behind me, whacks me in the head as she puts her purse down, and asks me something about the pieces the kids are working on. I try to answer her, while avoiding direct eye contact with her, because I'm pretty sure my eyes look pretty crappy at this point. I reach up to wipe my eye, and get greenish eye discharge on my hands. Crap. I have a problem. The mom continues to try to talk to me, and as she is telling me how her son goes to xyz swanky school, asks me, "Where does your daughter go to school?" I look up, and tell her that Alissa goes to public school, and that's when I see it. An odd look on the mom's face. She says, "oh...well, see you next week". By then my eyes are watering so badly I want to scream.
We leave, I go into the ladies room, and catch a glimpse of myself. My eyes are so bloodshot, it looks as if I have been smoking pot like it was going out of style. Pair that up with my fancy duds, and my public school kid, and I get it. I'm making lots of friends at orchestra. Whoops!
I changed my contacts yesterday, and I even wore an unstained shirt. Proud of me?
***Update*** By the way, I should go on record as saying I'm certainly not ashamed of public school, in fact I love our school. Also, I think private school is fine for people to choose, too. I actually went to private Christian school my whole life. I just think when people act like they're better than others based on where their child goes to school, that is a problem. I also need to go on record saying that I love Target. Really.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Look what Jill http://jilljillbobill.blogspot.com gave me!!! An award that I cannot read. Luckily for me, Jill gave me the translation. Here goes: This blog invests and believes, in the proximity.
In a nutshell, I think what this award is trying to say is that although we are far apart, blogging makes our world seem smaller, and our bloggy friends closer. Isn't that sweet? Thanks Jill!
2. Note: Jill did not give me this award just because she won my t-shirt contest. Right Jill? Right? Jill? ... Bueller?
3. The Gorilla Glue is off my hands. Took several hours, but it is gone!! Yes, toilet paper did stick to my fingers, thanks for asking!
4. So Jill wants to have a big bloggy sleepover next year at her house in TX. I am so into getting on a plane and going to hang with people I haven't met before. How fun is that? Does this surprise anyone that I would be into that?
5. At school yesterday, this cool hip teen girl asked me if I want to be her study partner for our upcoming Stat test. She is super cool, and super young. I'm so flattered! I'm fitting right in with the kids at school. Next thing you know, I'll be getting tattooed and pierced everywhere. When I made a comment that I was kind of like, well, old, she said "you're not the only older one, there are a few more in the class". I know she wasn't trying to offend, but it doesn't do a lot for my potential theory that maybe I'm not actually that old. I think she might think that because I'm old, I actually know something about Stat. Boy, will she be disappointed.
6. My weirdest Google search of the week: "Does Hugh Hefner still actually have sex?" I searched this one with my sister Lisa. I'm totally bringing her down with me here. We were watching TV this week (she came to stay over for a couple of days), and we got stuck on watching "The Girls Next Door". Inevitably, we started wondering if Hef is well, you know, viable. Apparently he is. 82 years old. Lisa says she plans to be done with all of that when she is that old. I'll have to inform her husband of this.
Wow, I'm such a chatty Kathy today! I could go on and on, but I actually have a "meeting" to go to. (Meeting - lunch with my friends Sue and Jen).
Play along with me here - tell me your weirdest random thought that you are having right now. Don't be shy, we are all friends here. There is no room for judgement here in Debland.
Oh, one more thing: I have to pass my award on...here are the lucky recipients!
1. Ele - http://www.willdaddy.net/blog/. Ele is a friend of a friend, and a super nice person! I haven't met her in person, but feel like I know her. Stop by sometime and read about her adventures with her super cute baby, and her adventures of achieving her dream of opening her own store. Congrats Ele!
2. Tena - http://therapyfortena.blogspot.com/ Tena rocks. Love ya Tena!!
3. Happy Hour Sue - http://happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com/. Sue probably already has this, but she is so stinkin' funny, she deserves another one. She is a real whiz with Play Doh.
4. Kristin - http://kwr221.blogspot.com/ Another one of my newer blog friends. Kristin is really fun, and is just starting a new activity on her blog, the "traveling box of bloggy goodness", which is sure to be a blast.
5. Mariah - http://helpihaveateenager.blogspot.com/ Just go read her blog. Just do it.
Congrats to all of you! More random thoughts coming your way soon...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Jill, e-mail me so I can get your "particulars". I promise, your address and size will not be divulged here in Debland. My address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
To put a link on facebook, just comment on your wall, and list my web address on it: www.debland.blogspot.com . Come on, let's see some linky love here!
In celebration of my 138th post (yea me!), I have decided to have my first contest here in Debland. In true Debland style, it would only make sense to give away something silly, you know, like something I would like. I like lots of stuff, but one thing I really seem to like now is silly/snarky t-shirts. Check out this website:
They have very creative and funny tees. Here are a few of my favorites:This one may have something to do with the fact that I'm in college.
Actually, so does this one. Although, I am in Statistics.This one I just like.
So, do YOU wanna win one? Here is what you need to do to enter.
1. Look at the website and comment here telling which one you would get if you won. That will gain you one entry into the contest.
2. Put a link on your blog to Debland, with a reference to the contest, and I'll enter you twice.
3. Put a link to Debland on Facebook and your blog, and I'll enter you three times!
Remember, if you don't play, you can't win.
Sound good? I hope so! The contest will end Friday at 9pm. At that time, I will enter you for the correct number of times, based on how you play (see #'s 1-3 above). I'll announce the winner this weekend, so keep checking back!!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
- Pick your nose. With your left hand. Right hand still works fine.
- Tie your shoes, or your 1st grader's shoes. This can be a problem on gym day. By the way, I know 1st graders should be able to tie shoes, but my first grader is a boy. Enough said.
- Style your hair. This is probably the most annoying one, since I am a hair lover. I've tried using the other part of my left hand , but it just isn't the same. So, my hair isn't up to par these days.
- Fasten a bra. Not easy. Try it sometime! Eventually, you will get it (like 10 min later). I am smart enough to know not to ask hubby for help with this. Men are only adept at taking bras off, and they frankly don't need any access to this "area" in the MORNING WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO GET EVERYONE OUT THE DOOR. It only encourages their bad behavior.
- Type peoperly. This is how mytyping looks whnr I fon't correct my many mistakrs made by my othere dingers thae aeer trying their best to pick up thr slack foe inex finfger.
- I swear,the one before this is for real. I have an inordinate amount of typing corrections that must be made when I type on the computer.
- Pay for something at a drive up. I was at the Starbucks drive up the other day, and I swear the girl was scared to take the money out of my hand. I'm sure she must have thought that I had some sort of horrible skin disease or something. So, you must pay with your right hand, which involves contorting your body in all kinds of weird ways, and then you run the risk of straining your back. Just what I need.
- Avoid being asked "Oh my God, what happened to your finger?" anytime you go out in public. After answering, you then have to politely listen to their horror stories of sliced digits, etc.
- Wash your left hand after using the "potty". The bandage cannot get wet. Must have hand sanitizer available.
- Put your arm down in the shower. Again, getting the bandaging wet is a no no. If you put your arm down, water will inevitably run down your arm, and onto your hand. This will happen even when you have tied a plastic bag to your arm. So, you have to look like a complete dork in the shower, and attempt to shower while you hold a Statue of Liberty pose. Very attractive, let me tell you.
So, folks, I am declaring today to be a national day of "Love Your Index Finger". The poor things are so under appreciated, and taken for granted. I implore you, today, just for one day, look at your index finger. Maybe give it a pat or a kiss, and thank it for its presence in your life. Massage it, buy it a Starbucks, get a manicure. Heck, you should even pick your nose with it, or give your ass a good scratch should it need it. Don't be ashamed. Celebrate your index fingers. Do it for those of us who can't. Remember, awareness is they key, so make sure you share these words of wisdom with your loved ones.
From the bottom of my heart (hehe I said bottom), thank you.
Monday, September 15, 2008
1. Line etiquette at Starbucks.
2. Things you cannot do without the use of an index finger
3. Sayonara, Mr. Floss-Man!
4. People that should not have been allowed to make music, Vol 1.
5. If I could go back to elementary school
I know I have a few closet readers here in Debland, so I give my blessing to anyone who wishes to vote anonymously. Your vote is important to me.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
How are you today sir?
Not very well, I thank you.
My stupid owner tried to cut me off.
Remember the Where is Thumbkin song? Having emerged from the preschool years not super long ago, I still recall it.
Anyhow, here's an update:
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and empathy for my little situation. I'll try to answer the questions I got from some of you.
1. Yes, as you can see, I can still type. It is hard, because I cannot use my left index finger, which is heavily bandaged. So, the middle finger is picking up the slack. The only issue here is that I am slow and make a lot of typing mistakes.
2. I was cutting open a package of cheese when this happened. It sounds funnier to say I cut the cheese, doesn't it?
3. Not to gross anyone out, but so far, things are healing well. The "chunk" is staying put, and it looks as if part of it wants to reattach, so that is good. Luckily my mom is a nurse and can do my wound care for me. She has to clean it and rebandage it every 24 hours.
Funny story here. Yesterday, as my mom is rebandaging me, she starts talking about pharmacies. Immediately, I think of my recent blog post from a couple of days ago. So, she tells me that she will order some special bandages for me from this online drugstore she has been using. Then she says, "they ought to give me a discount, since I ordered about $80.00 worth of hemerrhoid stuff from them."
Mystery solved! Eeew.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Note to my former and current violin teacher. Being my left index finger, it will make playing violin a tad difficult.
So, as I'm in the hospital this morning, I had a few thoughts:
2. Well, this is a good blog post!
3.Since I have to keep this thing elevated for 24 hrs., wouldn't it be funny if it were my middle finger?
Still made it to stat class and successfully took a test today. Do not know if the grade will be successful, but at least it is over with.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
We have a pharmacy in our area which requires that customers use a stupid little savings card to get "extra care" bonuses and coupons. I hate it when stores use this. Why? Two reasons:
1. I don't particularly care for the idea that my purchases are being tracked for marketing purposes. Having come from a sales background, that may seem a bit surprising, but hey, it is my business what I buy at the pharmacy. I mean really, does the marketing plan of a drugstore hinge upon whether or not I choose Playtex over Tampax? I think not.
2. I get sick of carrying the cards in my wallet and having to fish around for it at check out time. Enough said. I just don't like it.
My solution to get the sale prices? I give them a phone number. Not my phone number, but my parent's phone number. My parents are unaware of this, but I figured it was no big deal, and at least they would get the rewards, right? Wrong.
Apparently when you buy stuff with these cards, it signals the computer to generate a coupon that might be of interest to the purchaser. Fine. I get that.
Here is what I bought:
1. Cough drops
The friendly cashier asks for my card, and I cheerfully tell him I'll give him my phone number, which as I've described is not my phone number, but that of my parents. I complete my purchase, and he says - "Mrs. **** (my parents last name), you've gotten some savings coupons today. " He looks at them. "You have a buy one get one free Reeses candy bar, and err, err, another coupon." (He is now redfaced)
I get the receipt from him, walk towards the door, and glance at the coupons. Sure enough, there was the one for the Reeses bar (yay!), and then the second one. It was a coupon for Preparation H.
A couple of things I am contemplating here:
a. Eeew. One of my parents have hemorrhoids. TMI.
b. How the hell did cough drops and gum signal that I should have ass cream? What, just because I want fresh breath, I should also have a fresh, clean, hemorrhoid - free ass? Really, what is that about? Maybe it is spearmint flavored or something.
c. If I were to redeem said coupons, I wonder if the clerk would wonder which product I would use first. Would I eat the candy bar and then use ass cream? Hopefully. I shudder to think of vice versa.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Went to school yesterday. Stay tuned for my adventures with Prof. Winterbottom! He may possibly be my new favorite professor, because of his comment yesterday when passing out handouts:
"Please make sure that the young lady up here gets a syllabus."
I WAS THE YOUNG LADY!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess those new plaid bermuda shorts and non descript gray t-shirt did the trick. Oh, and the new black messenger bag must have helped too.
That, or maybe it is the fact that he is old. I'm choosing to go with my first hypothesis.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I swear. We got a friggin canister of Clorox wipes. Very reminiscent of last time: http://http//debland.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-want-to-be-part-of-itnew-york-new.html
Obviously, The View is trying to tell me that my bathrooms are dirty, which they might be, but as far as I'm concerned, it is none of their d*mn business.
Here are a few pics:Barbara Walters talking to us during a commercial break:
Cutie Pie Tom Kelly, the warm up comedian for the audience. We made friends with him last time.
So as not to disappoint my readers that we would be wild in NY, here is a pic of Tom's other side. Enjoy.
Lisa being gracious about the prize:
Realizing that it wasn't the Clorox wipes' fault, we decided to take them out to lunch.They were very well behaved.They enjoyed a lovely iced tea, and a plate of fried polenta sticks.Then in the cab, after lunch, Lisa flipped them off. Couldn't help it.
I gave mine to my mom when I got home. It was the least I could do since she got the kids off the bus.
Hey, we were on TV a lot! Anyone see us???
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Within 15 minutes, it looked as if they were shooting a commercial for the cruise line. Obviously, this girl was a little fast.
Land ho! Bermuda from afar:
Coming into port:
Island tour. If you go, get a tour from the local taxi drivers. They are more reasonable and more knowledgeable than the expensive tours you can purchase.
Beach time! These beaches are unbelievable. The pics don't begin to depict their beauty. Check out my "I might blog this" t-shirt. Interested in getting one? Click here, and order one from my bloggy friend Sue: http://www.happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com/
Evan climbing the caves:
Sexy grandpa on the beach. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Dinner the last night on the ship:
Don't ask me how, but Diane got more tickets sent to her in the mail. We will be at the live show, so tune in!!! Maybe you'll see me creating mayhem. Maybe I'll win a great prize this time. Time will tell. Anyhow, always looking for an adventure, so why not?