The second installment of...

Fun with Deb at the store!

I found this little gem at Wegman's.

Everyone, prepare yourselves for -

Every once in a while, it is fun to have a big one.

Parenting Do's and Don'ts

I've been out of the baby phase for some time now. My kids are 10 and 7. So, when my friend Emily sent this to me last night, I was thinking how helpful they would have been back in the day. Here's hoping I can help someone out with these helpful tips...

Remember this?

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/onmylist-books-you-probably-shouldn-buy.html


Check out this list...

Little Golden Books That Never Made It

• 
  1. You Are Different and That's Bad
• 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
• 3. Dad's New Wife Robert
• 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
• 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
• 6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
• 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
• 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• 9. All Cats Go to Hell
• 10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
• 11. Some Kittens Can Fly
• 12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
• 13. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
• 14. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
• 15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
• 16. Strangers Have the Best Candy
• 17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
• 18. You Were an Accident
• 19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
• 20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
• 21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
• 22. Your Nightmares Are Real
• 23.. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
• 24. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
• 25. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
• 26.. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

There is so much to say, yet I'm speechless.

It's been a long time since I've...

won a blog award!! This little gift came to me courtesy of Rachel, from http://areservationforsix.blogspot.com/. Make sure you go check her out! No, I'm not saying that just 'cause she gave me something. (But it doesn't hurt.)

Wanna see it? I knew you did. Behold, the "Premios Dardo" blog award! Rachel calls it the smoking typewriter award, which seems more apropo. Here is what it means:

"given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing... created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Wow. I feel so literaryish. Ha! It says I have values! Ha! Oh, wait, it says personal values. Yeah. My values may differ from that of the general population. But the good news is I have this venue to spread my "values" all over the place, which to me, is a blessing.

Rule 2 of getting this award: I have to put my name in a Google search in any fashion I choose, and share with you the top 10 results.

For the first 5, I put in "DEB THINKS". Apparently, this is what is on my mind -

1. 
   
   Deb thinks Brad Pitt should be sexiest man alive - No, Deb doesn't. Have we not gone over the whole Anderson Cooper thing here? Gees.


2. 
   
   Deb thinks green - I do, but NOT on Thursdays. In my high school, if you wore green on a Thursday, you were apparently horny. Thursdays were called, "horny green Thursday."


3. 
   
   Deb thinks Carly is pregnant - That hussy? Who doesn't think so?


4. 
   
   Deb thinks we could eliminate that and take walks or ride bikes - Umm, no.


5. 
   
   Deb thinks she has jokes! - No, Deb KNOWS she has jokes.

For the next 5, I put in "DEB DOESN'T.

6. Deb doesn't add an option in update-alternatives - WTF?

7. Debbie doesn't do Dallas - I stopped doing that a long time ago.

8. Deb doesn't apply cleanly - Is nothing sacred anymore? Really, did we have to go there?

9. Debbie doesn't do battles - obviously, Google doesn't know me very well.

10. Debra doesn't take the dare - see above. I do enjoy a good game of truth or dare.

Well, that was fun. I learned a lot about myself. Instant therapy. What the hell am I paying that doctor for anyhow?

So, I'm supposed to pass this on to 10 people, but I will instead pass it on to all of my fab readers who would like to take this award, play with Google searches, and pass it on to friends. If you're feeling lazy and selfish, just take the award and do nothing with it. I make no demands upon anyone, with the exception that they come read every day, comment, buy a Debland shirt, start a game of Scrabble on FB with me, and otherwise help hold up my fragile self esteem. See, I'm an easy cheap date!

One thousand, nine hundred thirty one.

Aka...1,931.

This is how many umm...times, uhh, that my aaah, professor said umms & aahs in the month of February.

Please join me in congratulating Jessica Bern on winning the UMM contest!!

Jessica guessed 1,900. Pretty damn close, huh?

Jessica not only wins a $25.00 gift certificate to one of these fine stores:

Starbucks
Bath and Body
Kohl's
Macy's
Home Depot
HomeGoods
Dunkin Donuts
Barnes and Noble
Amazon.com
Trader Joes

but she also wins a custom Debland t-shirt!! Actually, Jessica gets one item of her choice from my new Debland CafePress store.

I am currently waiting on Jessica's acceptance speech, and will post it as soon as I get it. I'm sure this is better than any silly Oscar or Academy Award.

Bad news: The rest of you did not win. If any of you are feeling sorry for yourselves, just be glad that you weren't there and had to listen to umm...aaah...umm...uhh over and over again.

Good news: You too can own your very own Debland novelty items!

Go visit my new shop at www.cafepress.com/debland

and buy something nice for yourself. All shirts have printing on the front and the back. Yup, they'll be staring at your backside, people!

No, I am not making a profit. I had the option of marking up the items, and just said no.

That's just how I roll.

Don't I rock?

I thought so.

Congratulations Jessica!!

We have a winner!!!

Tune in tomorrow for the winner of the umm...uhh...aaah...contest!!!!

Yes, I know who the winner is, but I'm simply too catatonic to do a proper post. Feel free to whine/yell at me in the comments section.

NYC Recap

It all started with tickets given to me by my friend MommyC! Here is my sister Lisa proudly displaying our good fortune.Never wanting to miss an opportunity to be on camera, I felt the need to show mine off too.Lisa tried out to be their go-go dancer for the morning, so she got a front row seat. Look at her gloating. At a commerical break. Note, I was not trying to get a picture of Kelly here. Anderson is in the background...hubba hubba.
Kelly cavorting with Lisa during a commercial...I can only imagine she is saying..."Me, 100 lbs? bite your tongue!!" Again, note Mr. Man of Incredible Hotness in the background. I'm pretty sure at this point he's looking into the crowd to find me.

One of the guests - The Donald! His hair is as ugly as you would imagine, yet he was a charming guest. Very funny dry sense of humor. Can't imagine why I would like that

The next shot should not be confused as a gratuitous picture of Anderson's ass. It is simply a shot depicting art in journalism.

I did ask out loud to the audience coordinator. (during a commercial) if Anderson would go out to lunch with us. I even offered to pay! I can't imagine why they said no. After that, it was all a blur...

Even the Tom Selleck segment, which I did not get any pictures of. I was too consumed with Mr. Cooper. Upon exiting the studio, we were greeted by staff from ABC. My first thought was that I would be arrested for harassment, then to my delight, we were given tickets to ANOTHER SHOW!!!

Guess which one? Guess who was the guest? Another super hot person who surely would want to hang out with us, right?

We got to go to The View!!

Rob Lowe was the guest!!!!!!!!!!

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot!

He is an engaging and, how do I say it, a HOT GUEST.

My buddy, the warm up comedian from The View, Thomas J. Kelly, was kind enough to introduce me to the whole audience, and even gave out my Debland web address!

How freakin' cool is that?

I want to return the favor...go visit Tom at one of these websites

www.ihateweddings.com

www.tsa.com

www.thomasjkelly.com

Not only is he hysterical, he is a nice guy.

After spending the whole day at TV shows, we ran out of time to do lunch and shopping. It was still worth it. We made a quick run to H&H bagels, Zabars, and for the best part, we went to Magnolia Cupcakes. Nothing like some unbelievable cupcakes to top off a great day! We had the following awesome flavors:

• carrot cake with cream cheese icing
• red velvet
• devil's food with marshmallow icing
• vanilla with vanilla bean icing
• chocolate mocha
• Anderson Cooper - mmm...that one was my fav.

It was a great day with great company!