I wish I were an...

actually, I just want to ride in one.

You oughta be in pictures...maybe not.

A pictorial description of my last couple of weeks...

Seen on a classy van outside of Sam's Club -

Sean may or may not be modeling a friend's Snuggie type garment. This was after the margaritas had been served.

I guess the cat really was hungry.



A rose by any other name...

How are you all doing?

Out of the mouth of Evan/Einstein

So Evan has this book that he loves. It is called Just Like Me...My book of Autism Heroes. Now the book is meant to be serious, but I do wonder, if one were to create an autistic superhero cartoon character, what would that look like?

I digress.

So, anyhow this book goes over many famous and notable people that have Asperger's or Autism, and teaches kids about how they made a difference in our world. Evan reads this book over and over. He has developed a special affinity for Albert Einstein. Having always been one to pretend to be various people and characters, I wasn't too surprised when he came downstairs like this... "Hey, Mom, look, I'm Einstein!"

Not unlike the real Albert Einstein, no?

I'm thinking that Albert Einstein didn't use HALF A JAR OF AXE "MESSY LOOK PASTE" to achieve his fabulous 'do. Let me just say, the showering afterwards was quite interesting.

God, I love this little boy...

Funny...cheesy, but funny.

Here are a couple of cheesy laughs for you today...first here is my friend Thomas J. Kelly, with the world premiere remake of "Pants on the Ground", as seen on American Idol.




Second, a joke my friend Jen sent me -

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now bepossible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just agood old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.


Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

You're welcome...giggle...snort.

Fun at the store with Deb

Seen at Walgreens...

My first thought is who I would slap chop first. I think I would start with that guy on the label.

That little thing called Aspergers.

Yeah. So, buried beneath my recent revelations http://http//debland.blogspot.com/2010/01/should-old-acquaintance-be-forgot.html from my last 6 months was this little tidbit...

#6. I found out our son has Asperger's syndrome.

I didn't bury it for reasons that you might think. I didn't even bury it purposefully. It's just that it is so new, so raw, so complex that I just can't really articulate myself at this point. Of course there are much, much worse things for a child to have. I know that, really I do. But as a parent, who loves her children to the core, it is a revelation that just slaps you in the face and thrusts you into a reality you didn't plan for, you didn't ask for, and that YOU DON'T WANT.

I'm not sure how much to say here, and how to say it. I'll do my best. Evan is a unusual child, with a super creative brain, an insatiable curiosity, a huge heart, and the face of an angel. I feel like I'm shortchanging him by describing him so succinctly, but that is the way communicating words on a screen can fail you.

We have had many challenges with Evan since he was a little guy. In some ways, it feels like we went on a merry go round for years and years and the diagnosis of Asperger's has made the ride stop. As much as I hate it, it fits him. There is a bittersweet comfort in getting an answer...the answer. I know it has been helpful to him. He finally has a basis to start understanding himself. This is a child who has told me repeatedly... "I'm different. Why am I different?" We have always told him to celebrate being different, and he really has. He has a book he reads about Asperger's and other autism spectrum disorders. It is called "Different Like Me." It highlights noteworthy people who have been on the spectrum. It has given him a positive perspective and role models to look up to. His latest dream is to be like Albert Einstein (who had Asperger's). My dream for him is to be the best he can be, all while loving himself and accepting himself.

This school year has been difficult for Evan. As he grows up, it is increasingly apparent to the other boys that he is different. It is hard to be an eccentric introspective 8 year old. Especially one that doesn't like, and can't really play sports. He has been getting bullied. A lot. We are in a simultaneous process of trying to figure out what his needs will be in the public school, all while researching private alternative educations for him. Lots of details. Lots of changed plans. Lots of shattered dreams, and new dreams forming. I wonder if I'm grown up enough to handle all of this.

I'm not sure how much to go on here, so I guess I'll leave it where it is for now. I'm happy to answer questions, or discuss details that I didn't cover here. Just let me know what, if anything, you would like to know. In the meantime, I leave you with some pictures.

This is not Asperger's. This is my son...

We will make it. He will make it. We won't let him down.

Oh me of little faith...

I underestimated him. Note the almost complete shedding of the needles after the dragging out. There were copious amounts of needles EVERYWHERE. The tree looks like a tumbleweed...

For The Love of New Years...

I suppose I should stop ranting about how I don't like New Year's. Then again, I suppose I should stop doing a lot of things that I have no intention of stopping. So, I will continue my rant and rave, and see if I can't lose all of my readers on my 3rd day back.

So right now we are dismantling Christmas. You know, that whole "get organized" New Year's thing? Know how things get worse before they get better? Well that is the stage we are in. I've got bins of stuff out all over the house, partially filled and waiting for me to continue the job. Trouble is, I've kind of lost interest in this whole packing up thing. Sean has never possessed an interest in packing up, which brings me to the next situation.

In addition to the bins that are around, we are currently sporting a very, very, VERY dead tree. I undecorated it yesterday, with some reluctant helpers. Sean got the lights off of it, and then it was time for church. I figured that of course, immediately after church, it would be his priority to drag the tree out of the house. Wrong. Instead, I come to find that he has to write 9, YES 9 employee reviews that were due, oh, THE NEXT DAY. Tree continues to grace living space.

Why haven't I drug out the tree? Good question. The primary reason is that I tend to be, oh, how shall we put it...an orthopedic nightmare? Don't believe me? Case in point:

1. I blew out my ACL in my knee playing in a baby pool with my kids.

2. I tore the main tendons in my foot putting on a high heeled shoe.

After a few reconstructive surgeries on various joints and appendages, I generally try to avoid things like dragging giant dead trees out of the house, because inevitably I will hurt myself and then be out of commission for months. On top of that, it is now a matter of principal. He needs to get the tree out of the house.

Until then my friends, I am relegated to this view, which I will share with you all...

EXHIBIT A - GROWING A PINE NEEDLE CARPET

EXHIBIT B- NOTE THE SEE THROUGH FEATURE ON THE TREE

Ok kids, time for our first game of the year!!! Take a minute, ponder, than answer this question...

WHEN WILL THE TREE GET TAKEN OUT OF THE HOUSE??

A. Monday

B. Tuesday

C. Wednesday

D. Thursday

Out and about with Deb

This one just speaks for itself...

I am a fan of the speed hump.

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot...

Hey...it's been 6 months. Why did I stop blogging? There is no one good answer for that. Let's just say that timing is everything. It would be impossible to completely catch you up on the last 6 months, so here are 10 random things that have happened to me since I've been gone. This is a random mixture of both silly and serious.

1. I got my first pair of Converse All-Star "Chucks". I do feel rather bad ass in them. The only thing tempering my bad-assness is the fact that I have to put my orthotics in them to wear them.
2. I lost my all time dear dear Uncle Archie. The world has lost one of the best people ever. Total heartbreak. Can't even begin to describe.
3. I FINISHED SCHOOL. WITH HONORS. I'LL BE GETTING MY FIRST COLLEGE DIPLOMA OF MY LIFE WITHIN A FEW WEEKS. OMG.
4. Keeping with the school theme, I visited and toured both a landfill and a sewage treatment plant.
5. I am wearing my hair blunt cut and auburn-ish.
6. I found out our son has Asperger's syndrome.
7. I have had my heart broken into a million pieces.
8. I know that despite some unfortuntate circumstances, things are the way they are supposed to be.
9. I am really on the road to "moving past" my past.
10. I'm still wildly silly and immature. I refuse to apologize for this.

I'm not a fan of New Years. At all. Hate it. Why? Not sure I need to explain. But since resistance is futile, let me be one of the first to wish you all a Happy New Year. I hope to reconnect and share my life with all of you once again in 2010. Hey, that rhymes.

Give me a shout out! Let me know you're still here, even if you do it anonymously.

Overheard the other night...

Sean (turning around to look at me): "I'm starting to think that you think Anderson Cooper is hot."

Deb: (trying to refrain from laughing her ass of in Sean's face) " What makes you think that?"


How quickly they catch on.

I'm here.

Saw a lot of these guys at our 4th of July parade. My opinion is, a kilt is a SKIRT. Weigh in here. Kilt = skirt?

Ashamed, and COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT.

***Hanging my head in embarassment***

Has it really been a week since I've posted? Are any of you still out there? Here's hoping that you are. If not, then this blog will remain only for my mere entertainment. As we all know, an entertained Deb is better than a bored Deb.

I digress.

So, I'm working on a 100 things segment for Debland, because, well, you know, I'm sure I haven't told you all there is to know yet. Sadly, my plans for getting this together have been impeded with silly things such as my new Philosophy class, last week of school for the kids, getting ready for a huge party at my house Saturday, oh, and one last tiny little detail. We're leaving for vacation Sunday. Pass the Xanax please.

In the meantime, while I get my shit together, I wanted to share this creepy ass book that I saw at Petsmart yesterday. Really. Is this really necessary?

Yeah. Exactly.

If you're still hanging around, comment and say hi. I'm needy like that.

Taking some of the "Dick" out of Cheney...

People who know me well, know that I have never been, nor will ever be a Dick Cheney fan. This is putting it mildly. However, yesterday's headline led me to believe that perhaps, at least on this subject, he and I can agree. Glad to know there is something reasonable about this man...

By the way, comments welcome on this one! I know politics can get touchy, but I'm all for a spirited (and respectful) debate. I understand some of my readers do not share my opinion, but am curious to know as a whole what my readers think.

Cheney on gay marriage: 'Freedom for everyone'

WASHINGTON – Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday he supports gays being able to marry but believes states, not the federal government, should make the decision.
"I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone," Cheney said in a speech at the National Press Club. "I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish."
Cheney, who has a gay daughter, said marriage has always been a state issue.
"And I think that's the way it ought to be handled today, that is, on a state-by-state basis. Different states will make different decisions. But I don't have any problem with that. I think people ought to get a shot at that," he said.

I'll bet a lot of guys will purposely park their cars illegally...

A simple wish

I do not wish good things for the person who thought that styrofoam packing peanuts were a good idea. In fact, when they die, I think they should be packed in them when buried.

Gotta go and clean up the mess...

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

So it has been a little warm around here lately. Not super hot, around 80 degrees. Nice weather. I've broken out the capri pants and bermuda shorts...nothing crazy. Unfortunately, some of my fellow citizens seem to have taken the warm weather and run with it. Over the past few days, I have seen a disproportionate number of men driving around WITHOUT SHIRTS ON.

Now, if it looked like this fine specimen, we would not be having an issue...

Yes, that is Anderson Cooper. Yumalicious.

No friends, what I have been seeing is this...

Manboobage. Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not hating on anyone here, but perhaps we shouldn't DRIVE AROUND IN OUR CARS LIKE THIS SO EVERYONE HAS TO SEE.

It's like I'm living in an episode of Cops. Oy.

Things you don't want to have happen to you...

1. Have your left contact lens rip in half in your eye while driving on a winding road. This is highly unpleasant.


2. Continue to drive, with one eye shut.


3. Try to do your shopping with one eye shut. You look like Popeye.

That was today.

Yesterday -

1. Put off spring "ladyscaping" for too long. You'll have a fight with this...

My Schick Intuition will never be the same. It obviously doesn't have very good intuition, because it had no idea what feats it was going to have to perform. I'm thinking it will go on strike.

2. Go to a fabric store, only to get yelled at by the woman working there because I don't know a lot about fabric. WTF? Aren't they supposed to help you there? I DO NOT think they are supposed to ask you why you are there if you don't know what you're talking about. Yes, that really happened.

3. Go to IKEA for a "few things." It never is a few things when you go into their fab marketplace.

That, my friends, is what is going on in Debland. It's an exciting life, but someone has to lead it.

Introductions

I had planned for this day, but it was like planning for a party that I didn't know when would happen!

I'm on TopMomma!!!! http://www.topmomma.com/

Welcome Top Momma readers!! I wanted everything to be perfect when you came, but I just wasn't prepared enough. Kind of like having someone pop over when your house isn't in order, which for me is a frequent occurence.

I'm Deb. Nice to meet you. This is Debland. Debland is a fun and silly place where I can just be me. There is something for everyone here, or at least I have convinced myself of that. Come take a look around...I talk about a little bit of everything, such as:

• Things you should not buy your kids -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/onmylist-books-you-probably-shouldn-buy.html

• adventures with my not crafty self -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-happens-when-you-dare-crazy-person.html

• hospital stays -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-was-actually-sign-on-my-dads.html

• things I need -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/08/what-do-you-need.html

• boobs and trips to NYC -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-want-to-be-part-of-itnew-york-new.html

This is simply a taste of Debland. I hope you'll sit back, put your feet up, and read a while. Come back often, and introduce yourself to me too! Always room for new friends...

Introductions