I'm not missing. I'm just not around much.

I hope it is appropriate blog etiquette to not post so much during the holidays, because I obviously am not posting a whole lot. Luckily, a couple of weeks off with family and friends provides lots of blog fodder. Here is a taste:

• Christmas at Sean's family's house, we received some lovely gifts. Truly, we did. However, we also were treated to a not so lovely, LARGE, gilded frame picture of my inlaws. Of course, I was the first one to open it (there are 3 siblings). Opening such a gift after having a couple of drinks isn't the best idea. I tore off the wrap, only to be greeted with a shot of my mother-in-law struggling between a smile and a sneer, with one eyebrow cocked higher than the other. I managed to utter a "well, will you look at that?" before succumbing to a coughing/laughing/sputtering fit.
• Going out with friends for margaritas...winding up having a margarita, a beer, and a shot in a very short period of time. Subsequently engaging in long discussion about how one activates the automatic paper towel dispenser in a public bathroom properly.
• Taking a long nap after above night out
• Learning to use my new IPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!

I just asked Sean if I can use the picture for a 200th blog post giveaway, but he is saying no. He must be more attached to it than I thought. Guess I still need to get a good idea going for that...this is post #197!!

Deb's Weird 4 am thoughts...

1. I don't even have a small baby, yet I'm up in the middle of the night fretting. How unfair. If I'm going to be up like this, I may as well become a wet nurse and make some money for heaven's sake.

2. I'm really wondering how things are going to get done. I did give thought to converting to Judaism in order to escape Christmas duties, but unfortunately that would not help me as Hanukkah is in full swing right now. Must find religion that allows me to escape this insanity. Suggestions welcome.

3. You guys crack me up with your responses to my last post. Sounds like many of us would love to give one of those books to that "special someone". My personal favorite is "Paddington Gets Tanked". I'm pretty sure he got tanked because things weren't getting done for his holiday either, so he just gave up.

4. Am I the only one who plays the Christmas Card game of "chicken"? I can't begin to tell you how badly I'm going to lose this year. I sent out my usual cards, then sat back to wait and see who else sent cards, and then try to get them a card before Christmas. I'm screwed. I got a whole bunch yesterday. Aaargh. I will now send cards next April so I can win, because you know, Christmas is really all about winning. Good wishes and good cheer are for the losers that can't win.

5. Given my sporadic posting these past few days, in case I don't post again for a couple of days, I would just like to take the chance to wish you all a happy holiday! I'm so glad you come to visit Debland, through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Speaking of which, I'm coming up on my 200th post soon!!!

I want to make that post extra fun...what shall I do, a giveaway? Tell 200 things about me? Get a guest poster? Ideas everyone!! Be creative.

Off to write my inevitably late 2nd round of Christmas cards...

OnMyList: Books You Probably Shouldn't Buy Your Kids This Christmas

1. :

   

2. :

   

3. :

   

4. :

   

5. :

   

6. :

   

7. :

   

8. :

   

9. :

   

10. :

    

11. :

    

12. :

    

13. :

    

14. :

    

15. :

    

16. :

    

17. :

    

Check out this list at OnMyList, where you can list your pants off!

C is for cookie, Christmas, and my grade.

Sigh.

I tried. Really, I did. That is what bums me out so much. Despite my best efforts, and a LOT of work, I was only able to pull off a C+ in my Statistics class. I was holding out hope for a B, but to no avail. I'm hoping my pity party will wear off sometime between now and the end of the day.

Stat wasn't a complete waste of my time. I actually did learn a lot, and despite my grade, I do feel that it was worth the effort. Plus, I made some new friends in the class who rock. Really nice people. The one guy, J, (I won't use full names without permission) has bestowed on me the best nickname ever.

DKMC.

Not to be confused with DKNY.

DK (my initials), plus MC (Montgomery County College)

Yep, that's right. I'm a bad ass. I will now refer to myself as DKMC.

Hey, it worked for Prince and Beyonce.

Before and after

Me yesterday before my final, after being completely brain fried...




Me after my final...




Seriously folks, today I'm a walking zombie. Stay tuned as I try to wake up and find my wit. Thanks to Jen for the first video!

Judgement Day

My final exam is tomorrow. What's done is done. I know what I know. Wish me luck. I will share that in true Deb style, I have made a couple of friends in class, and we have successfully convinced the professor that we will be taking him out for a beer this week. My idea. He really is a nice guy. I just hope he remembers the beer when he grades the exams. I told him to bring them with him and I would help him grade them. Sounds like a good idea to me.

What happens ( Cindy! )when you dare a crazy person to do something...

...they make tampon angels and take them to a ladies brunch for a gag secret santa gift. Everyone, I'd like you to meet the 3 heavenly amigos...

I think the cheesy orange dollar store doll hair adds a lot, don't you?

Will you come visit me when they take me away?

This time I've really done it. It may have been due to the case of PUPETSD I acquired yesterday. What is PUPETSD? You haven't heard of it? PUPETSD is Post Ugly Plant Exposure Traumatic Stress Disorder. You see, I was at my doctor's office waiting for an immunization shot, and I had to wait WAY TOO LONG. Not only did I have to wait too long, I had to stare at ugliness. Ugly silk plants and flowers to be exact. I think they disturbed me. Between this unnecessary exposure, plus the incessant drug ads, pictures of internal organs, plastic breast lumps, and all of the other goodies I saw there, it seems as if they got to my head.

Are you having trouble following me here? Ok, I'll just say it.

I am now a follower of my own blog.

For some unexplainable reason, I came home yesterday, and clicked on the button to "follow this blog." Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Whatever the reason, it can't be good. Following your own blog is like:

• Stalking yourself
• Being in a 12 step program, and being your own sponsor
• Having yourself for an invisible friend
• Being a babysitter for yourself
• Being your own parent
• Functioning as your own probation officer
• A passive aggressive way of declaring that you have multiple personalities
• Taking yourself to the prom

I just felt I had to share this with all of you, despite the potential disgust and fallout that it might generate. When you come to visit me at the funny farm, bring Starbucks, ice cream and candy, k?

By the way, here are a couple of pics of some of the plant offenders.

I'm feeling the pinch a bit this year. You know, Christmas expenses? Every year, it seems like there are more and more people on the gift list. Before I know it, I'll have to give a gift to my mail carrier's mail carrier!

Am I the only one that feels this way? Doesn't it just add up beyond what you anticipate spending? This year, I'm taking a new approach. I'm not super crafty, but I'll try.

These jaunty crafty gift ideas brought to you courtesy of www.tamponcrafts.com

I need your condolences during this difficult time.

It happened. I had been anticipating it for a while now, but hoping with all my might that it could just hang on. After all, it had defied the odds, lasting far beyond my own estimates. I guess I thought it would be with me, until at least I was finished with my class. But it didn't.



My turquoise disposable mechanical pencil died today.



Everything was going fine, or so I thought. We were working together, as a team, plugging through our Stat class today. We were on fire, flying through (and erasing) our Stat questions. A piece broke off of its tip. I wiped sweat from my brow, took a sip of my iced tea, and that's when...that's when...



it happened.



In my typical familiar motion, I reached up with my right thumb to lovingly click the eraser to bring more pencil lead out. In the stillness of the room, everyone could hear the tap as the 1/2 inch of remaining lead fell out of the pencil and onto the desk.



I was numb. Shock took over. I reached into my bag for my orange mechanical pencil, and finished my work with that, but it wasn't the same. It felt different in my hands. It has no eraser. It just isn't as special. I had to finish the class with my dead pencil next to my notebook, looking just as sad as sad can be.



Please bear with me as I mourn my loss. Today, I don't know how I will get on without my pencil, but maybe the light of tomorrow will bring new hope. In the meantime, in lieu of flowers, I am requesting that folks simply send Starbucks gift cards in memory of my turquoise pencil.



Thank you so much. You are all such good friends.

You know you are old when

You are watching a Styx concert on PBS, and the lead singer of Styx (Dennis DeYoung) not only is hobbling around the stage, but is dressed like a priest, has snow white hair, and needs a 60 piece orchestra to distract viewers from his weak, old voice.

To add insult to injury, after his "concert" PBS hits us up for a donation. Would you pay for that? They should pay me.

He is now singing "Mr. Roboto", and doing the movements for it. He must be robotic. He is moving around like he has had major joint replacement.

Thus ends my report of Deb's exciting Wednesday night in Debland. Do I think I'm being mean? Possibly.

***P.S.*** For any of my readers that think I'm saying that they're old, I'm not. First of all, I am well aware of my old-ness, and secondly, I haven't seen any of you dancing robotically on a stage. If I did, well, then, I might accuse you of old-ness.

Stumped for holiday gifts?

Umm, wow. Well, hmm...I'm just hoping when I told Sean to get creative this year for Christmas, it doesn't come to this.

Many thanks to Kylee once again for providing me with Deb-style entertainment. Your parents would be so proud! Let's forward it to them.

Makeup test

After a whirlwind weekend of Thanksgiving and studying for my postponed test due to cat malfunction, I found myself this morning at college, in a strange building to take my makeup test. The funny part was that I had to take it outside of my professor's classroom, in the hallway. I felt like one of the bad kids sitting in the hall.

Benefits of taking a test in the hall?

1. It was right by the men's room.


2. Lots of guys seemed to have to go potty today.


3. My professor had to go potty too.


4. I now know what my professor sounds like when he pees.


5. If I get a bad grade, I can blackmail him and tell him that I will share with the class that he urinates. Bet no one knew that about him.

I changed my ringtone this morning. My phone now plays "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Someone tried to call me this morning during my test. My test that I took in the hall. The test I took while men peed. The phone was in the BOTTOM of my messenger bag, and had managed to ring obnoxiously a few times before I could dig it out. At least it was purposeful...the whole class started guffawing while I tried to stop it.

Glad I'm good for something. How was your weekend?