Tuesday is the new Monday

Umm...hi.

I didn't get the contest together today. So sorry. My dad is on the fritz again, and today was kind of tied up with other issues.

Come back tomorrow...I'll have it together by then, ok?

Ouch.

I have cramps. Just thought I'd share that with everyone. Have a happy period weekend.

 

Contest starts on Monday!! Stay tuned.

Fun with Deb at the store, Vol 2

Last weekend, I had the good fortune of going outlet shopping with my 2 SIL's, and of course, my MIL.

I had no idea Coldwater Creek was so X rated...look at this hoochie mama mannequin:

I mean, really. Thinking that perhaps they had put on a fig leaf or loincloth on the front side, I decided to investigate further...

Nope. I guess when you're wearing such a hideous jacket, nothing else matters. At least they have a book about what cowboy boots you can wear with your ensemble. Naked cowgirl.

The morning after...incident 2

So, after the whole room switching debacle, we go out to eat. Sean's sister and family were waiting at the restaurant for us...they waited for 1 hour!!

We get into the restaurant, and J, Sean's mom, proceeds to explain to the sister that we were late because WE INSISTED ON GIVING THEM OUR ROOM, AND WEREN'T WE SO GENEROUS, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I had a couple of beers with dinner. First one was consumed before I even put my order in. Unfortunately, the table was too large for me to announce to Sean's sister why we were REALLY late...as we're leaving the restaurant, I tell her.

Fortunately, we find a short cut back to the hotel...gotta love GPS systems! We hightail it to our new digs, quickly change, and hop into bed. Oh, and I took a Xanax. How could I not? A half hour later we wake up to banging on our door- the rest of the family got back and want to "hang out". Yeah. Right. It was 11:45.

Next morning:

After a hearty family breakfast, it was time for the big family picture. She is all about the perfect picture. So, we donned our Norwegian sweaters (she is Norwegian and wanted us all to match). We meet in front of the big fireplace for the big photo shoot. Everyone except for Sean's parents. For some odd reason, she is upstairs, gussying up for the picture. We wait. Wait. Wait. The 7 kids start getting restless. There is 1 13 year old, a 10 year old, 9 year old, 8 year old, 7 year old, and 2 6 year olds. Four of these kids are boys. Three of them are 7 and under. Not only are they wearing a turtleneck and sweater they can't stand, they are also waiting.

I give the kids gum to keep them occupied. Reds and husband (who as I said is very sweet), make their entrance. We start assembling the group shot. She determines that she wants a picture with her own kids. Here's how the scenario unfolds.

Confusion...15 people all talking at once.

Me: "Ok, Fruit of Their Loins, get over here for a picture!!"

Most burst out laughing. The little kids don't get it. J just stares at me. I say to her, "isn't that a romantic way to look at it? If you would rather, I would be happy to call them spawn."

Picture is taken. The three kids (aka fruit of their loins) are smiling away. We then assemble the group picture. J notices the kids gum, and makes them all spit it out. The kids make it through the picture, and then come back to me looking for more gum. I give it to them. She then decides we need more group pictures. Seeing that they have gum, she flips out and makes them get rid of it.

We get through most of the pictures, she turns to look at me. I have gum, and was chewing it in between shots. She says to me "I'd better not see that gum in these pictures."

Sean's brother "Ok, one last shot!!" Everyone smile!!!

I blew a bubble.

Hi, my name is Deb...

I got this from Missy...http://is-it-just-me-missy.blogspot.com/

72%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

I am busy trying to think up an excuse, but am not coming up with any good ones. Therefore I will belligerantly embrace my addictive blogging self. Take the quiz and let me know if I'm in good company.

***By the way, I'll have more weekend updates, just be patient!****

The first incident

After a 2 hour partially snowy drive, we arrived at our weekend destination for Operation 50th Anniversary at a snowy resort up north. We were the first to arrive. My father in law (who is a sweet man), had booked a block of rooms for everyone. We checked in, got a key and some complimentary Starbucks coffee, and settled into our room.(aka unpacked) The sun had just set, and we had (note the word had) a beautiful view out of two picture windows on the 7th floor in the hotel's tower building. I was reading (blogs), Sean was relaxing, the kids were reading. The kids were so excited to see their cousins.

After about 1 hr passes, there was a knock at the door. Then a glimpse of firery red hair, accompanied with a sneering beady eyed surveying face. First thing out of her mouth:

"Oh, so THIS is what you get when you get here first? Our room is soooo much smaller."

Sean: "Mom, this was the room they gave us, we had no idea there were different rooms."

J aka Reds: " No, no, it is fine, I mean it's only our 50th anniversary." Walks out of the room.

Alissa: "Is Grandma taking our room"?

Deb: "Sean, your mom is pissed. Go in her room and talk to her. Just nonchalantly offer to switch rooms, and I'm sure she'll politely decline. After all, we have 4 people, and they only have two. We've already unpacked. It's just polite on our part."

Sean leaves. Comes back in a few minutes with both parents. Sean's Dad, also "J" says "J, they have 4 people in here. It will be a good room for the cousins to play in. We only have 2, and our room is plenty big."

Reds " Yes, but this room has a really nice view. I think we'll take it."

Next 15 minutes:

We're packing, moving across the hall, moving their luggage. Evan is crying, I'm shushing, all while composing this blog post in my head. We get into our new room, and I see a refrigerator in it. I tell Sean "Hey, it's not all bad, we've got a frig."

Sean: "Oh no, she'll take it." Starts to unplug it and carry it.

Knock on door, red hair appears again. "Sean, where's our refrigerator?" "It's ours and we need it."

Me through clenched teeth : "He's lugging it across the hall for you now. He's probably got a hernia too."

Reds: "Good."

And there begins the weekend of narcissism.

Things I have learned from Jessica

Many thanks to Jessica Bern for a great guest post this weekend. (((((((((Jessica)))))))))

Apparently, the above is a way of clapping for someone in typed form. Jessica, consider yourself clapped.

The other day my husband said I had a *fertile mind* which I suppose is a good thing. I mean, being told you're pretty or funny is really overrated. I want to hear stuff about my brain. Yup.

Jessica has taught me a few things from her post. Specifically, I have learned...

• Jessica is funnier than I am.
• Jessica has a good group of readers who were kind enough to visit Debland.
• That even though I am only 37, I had better get one of those LifeAlert systems, because it is very clear that I am likely to be abandoned by my family during some horrific accident.
• I cannot walk around anymore thinking that my half 'stache is ok. Yes, I have a 'stache, but it is only on one side of my lip. The left side to be exact. K? I get an A for honesty. Anyone who is laughing can shut it.
• If the 'stache isn't ok, the chin hairs surely must go. Also, that stray hair on my left boob should go too. Clearly, the left side of my body is rebelling. Damn that right side of my *fertile* brain.

Stay tuned for stories from my weekend. Let me just say that it delivered good blog material. I will also say that I am very glad that I have therapy this Friday.

Oh, and if you're still reading, I'll be doing a contest soon. Get ready for some fun.