A true e-mail I sent this week...

Hi Professor W.,



I left you a voicemail this morning. i was bitten very badly by our cat Friday night on my R wrist. By Saturday eve, I had to go to the hosptal b/c my arm, wrist and hand had become swollen and infected. I got IV antibiotics, and cannot use my right hand at all for a week. I have practically no function in the hand at all. It is in a sling. I am typing w my left hand. What can we work out for the test tomorrow? I won't be able to write until Saturday, November 29th.



Sincerely,



Deb K.





Turns out introducing the cats has been quite the challenge. Last Friday they were in the same room, looking at one another, debating what they wanted to do. I decided I should compliment and pet Madeline, our "resident cat", so that she felt loved, important, you know, her self esteem wouldn't suffer. I mean, a cat's self esteem is important, right? Right? Hmm...



Bad idea. Madeline mistook my hand reaching down as an act of aggression, and proceeded to bite down on my wrist, puncturing it. Here's the aftermath...

This is a cell phone picture, but you can see the punctures on my wrist, accompanied by spreading dark redness, swelling, a hand that wouldn't bend for days. Oh, there are also pen marks on my arm. That was on purpose so the hospital could see if it was getting worse. Last night, one of the punctures resembed a zit. I squeezed it, and it behaved just like a zit. Gross.

Quite painful. Quite stupid on my part. The only good thing is I didn't have to take my exam this week. I have to take it Monday morning.

We (my friend Jen and I) had fun in the ER. The staff wasn't busy and we got to hear great stories of escapades that have landed people in the ER. It appears that people like to stick things up their butts. Things like:

• A can of Aqua Net hairspray
• An eyeglasses case
• A vibrator that was still running, yet stuck. They had to let the batteries run out before the person went to surgery.

Finally, lots of people have gone to the ER with cat bites. Apparently I'm in good company. I'm just glad I didn't go in with a cat shoved in my butt. I can't imagine under what circumstances something like that would happen. Then again, I doubt some of those other folks intended to get things in their butts either.

On that super appetizing note, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Gettin' freaky at Sam's Club

While shopping at Sam's Club the other day, I discovered that grocery shopping doesn't have to be so mundane. Enter exhibit A -

One of these things is not like the other...

Day: Wednesday afternoon

Weather: Sunny, crisp, fall day

My mood: somber

Place: The Learning Lab at my college (aka tutoring)

Cast of Characters:

• Me
• A student from my class who is a math major
• A student from my class who is an engineering major
• My professor, who has 4 different master's degrees in math

Someone doesn't fit in here...hmm...wonder who?

Do I need to play the Jeopardy music, or have you figured it out already?

43 - No, that's not my age.

Thank you Megan! http://meganhallpass.blogspot.com/

How many of these things have you done?

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a Meteor Shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a Mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a Lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memoria

l71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

I have only done 43, and for the record, I have skinny dipped. Just sayin.

Who says you can't?

I have always been fairly permissve when it comes to pets in our house. The way I see it is that at least the kids aren't asking for some high ticket items, such as electronics, video games, etc. My kids love pets, Alissa especially. Our repetoire of pets has included:

1. Hermit Crabs - several over the years, all deceased.

2. Fish of various kinds, currently guppies that I hope will die off soon. (that sounds so sinister)

3. Fire bellied toads, which unfortunately had to eat live crickets. Their names were Mushroom and Olive. Our next one would have been named Pepperoni. Olive escaped after a year or so, and sadly, Mushroom died this summer. I don't miss buying crickets.

4. Fancy Mice - yes, mice. We have two girl mice, Nutmeg and Starlight, who surprisingly are very easy to take care of, and actually very cute! They also don't eat live prey.

5. Cat - We have a tortiseshell cat, named Madeline. Madeline loves watching the mice. She is a persnickety creature, with her definite likes and dislikes. Madeline believes that we live in the house which she owns.

So, when Alissa told me she was interested in having a budgie (aka parakeet) for Christmas, I started to do my research. After researching them, and alleviating my impending guilt about causing our cat post traumatic stress disorder from owning mice AND a bird, I set out on a mission.

Thinking that I should rescue a homeless bird, I went to the SPCA, where they had some very cute, but VERY WILD, noisy, crazy parakeets. Oh, they were also incredibly messy and didn't want to be handled. My idyllic fantasies of having a little bird for my daughter were squelched, then and there. I knew it wouldn't work. As I'm leaving the SPCA, something caught my eye. Something I've always wanted but hubby didn't want. Then again, he didn't want the first one, but he lost that battle. A connection was made. A subsequent phone call was made, to find that in fact my hubby is more flexible than I thought. I fell in love, and the feeling was mutual. Could you have resisted this?

Neither could I. Can I just say what a sweet cat she is? She is the polar opposite of Madeline. At this moment, this new creature is living in Alissa's room until everyone is able to make nice and get along. The initial hissing and growling is winding down. Anyway, the cat is so sweet and calming I thought of the perfect name for her...

Xanax.

Why not? She is small, white, cute, and has a very calming effect on me.

After much pondering, I decided this would be inappropriate for my children. But in my perfect world, I would own two cats. Prozac and Xanax.

Her real name? Ellie. It fits her perfectly. Wish me luck on the impending kitty introductions. if anyone has advice on this, I'm all ears.

What happens when you don't post for 5 days...

...kind people like Jill (http://jilljillbobill.blogspot.com/) give you an award!! Not just any award, but the Jiggity Jig motherload award. Jill, does this mean you like me better when I'm not posting?? Jill? Jill? Where are you? Conveniently, Jill is on a cruise this week, so she will be unable to answer my question.

The best part of this award is that I, I, I ,I get to make up the rules for how it is passed on!! Mwahhhhh...I will bestow the award upon the following buddies of mine...

Kristin!! http://kwr221.blogspot.com/

Jessica!! http://www.bernthis.com/

Cindy!! http://figslavendercheese.blogspot.com/

Georgie!! http://georgienba.blogspot.com/

Congratulations girls! Now, one catch. I am asking that upon accepting this award, you share a blog post about one of the the funniest, annoying, or most embarassing holiday meal you have ever been present for. I can't wait to see what you come up with! I'll go first -

A couple of years ago, I treated myself to a very expensive yet lovely holiday skirt. I loved it, and couldn't wait to wear it for the holidays. I wore it and got many compliments on it, thereby validating (in my mind) the purchase. I wore the treasured skirt to my husband's family Christmas gathering. My mother in law, infamous for not being ready when guests arrive, comes downstairs (about an hour after we arrive) IN THE SAME SKIRT. THE SAME FRIGGIN' EFFIN' SKIRT. ARRRRRGH!!! I WAS DRESSED LIKE A ALMOST 70 YEAR OLD WOMAN. A WOMAN THAT TOLERATES ME, AND I HER. Can anyone spell "awkward"?

File that one under annoying. I never did like that skirt anyway.

Baby got back

Since my summer swim exercise class, I've been thinking about getting into a new type of exercise. What do you think?






Many thanks to my friend Kylee for discovering this little gem.

More awkward than my first kiss...

Do you honestly think anyone enjoyed themselves yesterday? Maybe Michelle and Laura swapped hubby stories. Other than that, I would imagine the best part of the day was when they said goodbye.

Monday Madness

An interesting weekend here in Debland. I was in a car accident on Saturday. My friend parked her car on a driveway with a hill, and after she got out, the emergency brake failed and we rolled down backwards out of the driveway, hit another car, and smashed into a fence. It could have been much more of a serious outcome than it was. I am beyond grateful for that. I honestly feel like I've been given a second chance here. I feel awful that she is so distraught over the situation and only hope she will feel much better soon.

I spent a good portion of the day yesterday trying to change my blog skin to something that isn't so boring looking. Blogger has a crappy selection of backgrounds, so I downloaded several from various sites, only to have them not work. However, I did succeed in erasing my blog list widget somehow, and am in the process of rebuilding it. Please leave me a comment if you don't see yourself on the list! I don't want to forget anyone.

If anyone is adept at changing blog looks, let me know. I am more than happy to pay for what I would like to have.

Have a great day everyone!!

As promised, the definition of...

Clicker Licker - a delicious fun lollipop that not only can produce a very annoying whistle, but also has a jovial figure on top that when shaken, can make a clicking noise that might cause people to twitch if clicked too often.

In other words, a perfect gift for Deb. Bonus - it is sour apple, a way yummy flavor.

If I confessed to you guys that I feel slightly inferior that I only have 17 followers, compared to everyone else's gazillion followers, does that make me seem pathetic? Note to 17 followers...I love you guys!! This is not about you. This is about my neediness.

Funny Friday

This picture needs a caption.

If you're looking for funny things, check out this website:

http://www.bernthis.com/

Created by comedian Jessica Bern, this website contains both a great blog, but also a super funny web series created by Jessica that chronicles her life journey from the perspective of trips to her therapist. Check her out, and let me know what you think! Very funny stuff. I'm not just saying that since I just recently "celebrated" my 1 year therapy anniversary. I will say this...if Jessica is ever in town, I am totally taking her with me to therapy. It would be the best session yet. Too bad she can't come today.

Happy Friday everyone!

I should get booed for not posting this in time.

Annie and Tena were kind enough to send me this on Halloween... by Annie http://cookieconversations.blogspot.com/

and Tena http://therapyfortena.blogspot.com/

I never got a chance to post this - sorry ladies! I do appreciate it very much though! Everyone go check out Annie and Tena. They are lots of fun.

Fun in a box

Last week obviously had its ups and downs. Stat was a major downer. As promised, however, I would like to show you one of the major highlights of my week...fun in a box. Yes, fun in a box, given to me by the one and only Emily. Emily is my friend from Utah. Imagine my giddiness when this arrives on my doorstep...

What in the world could it be?

Oooh baby!! A box full of good times. A funny card about phoning in an order for a pool boy ,( if only you really could!!) ,oodles of candy, specifically, Snickers Rockin Roads, Reeses Sticks, Utah truffles, Peeps, a "clicker licker", and the lastest copy of Strings magazine. I am now certain that Emily has hung around me too long, as she is adopting my philosophical blog mentality. (yay!) In her note, she brings up the oddness of the name Peeps for candy, and why we would name something we eat, "Peeps"? Here are my thoughts:

Why would we eat something called Peeps? In modern day terms, "Peeps" refers to one's friends. I certainly don't plan on eating my friends. Hmm...well, I suppose someone would if it was a *friend with benefits* - wait, I digress. Was that inappropriate? Aaah,who cares?

I'm wondering at this point if anyone is curious to know what a "CLICKER LICKER" is. I am now officially opening up comments to take your guesses. My next post will divulge what it truly is. I will give you a clue and say it is tons of fun, and definitely might raise a few eyebrows if people saw me with one in public.

Also in the box - toys!!

Rounding out the fun assortment in the box was a smattering of toy spiders and webbing. Made my costume lots of fun, for sure. Speaking of costumes, here's what my guys dressed up as:

Evan was Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean. I honestly think he looks like Johnny Depp here!

Alissa was a vampiress. She looked great, but I was a bit startled at how much older she looked in her costume. Not easy to find a costume for the very discerning tween population, let me tell you.

Don't mind my mother in law in the background. I guess she just wanted to be in the picture very badly.

If you're still reading, I do want to let you know that I did in fact take cupcakes to school on my birthday. I also took a bag of Halloween candy, and made a distracting sign indicating it was my birthday. Some people took stuff, but in general people were a bit distracted by the test, or were simply too boring to join in the festivities. Frankly, I found it to be the best part of the school day.

Many, many thanks to Em, as well as everyone for their birthday cards, gifts, and good wishes! You guys are the best. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm up to my eyeballs in stupid boring household chores, and I'm feeling a little like this right now...

Mmmmm...

0 out of 5 doctors surveyed said they would not recommend eating Halloween candy for breakfast.



I never trusted doctors anyway.