Something more appetizing to look at.

Went to the shore this weekend with some girlfriends to celebrate my friend Susan's birthday!! Now, I know that a picture of my face being waxed is awesome, and delicious, but check out what we got to eat:

It was as delicious as it was pretty.

Happy Birthday Susan!!

No one got drunk or sloppy, so these are the only pics I have to share. If you want, I do have more waxing pictures though!

Thumbs up for Friday!!

Try not to become overwhelmed by the sexiness you are about to see...

update...

Thanks to all who weighed in on the situation I described yesterday. Just thought I would follow up on what she did.

The next day, she called up the hostess and explained what had happened. So, the host checked the chair, and sure enough, there was a minimal amount of stain. It cleaned up just fine and she and the host had a good chuckle.

I think my friend has more courage than I do, for sure.

I'm thinking I should start an advice column.

Thanks to all who commented on the bratty kid down the street...

So, a friend of mine, once she found out I had asked your opinion about that situation, wanted me to ask my blog readers how they would handle a situation she found herself in. When I say friend, I mean an actual friend, not a "friend" who is really me. Believe me, if it were me, I would tell you. It's too good not to share.

Apologies in advance to my male readers, although of course, they too should weigh in on the subject.

Said friend is in peri menopause. Apparently this means you can have irregular and sometimes heavy bleeding during your cycle. Unfortunately her cycle fell during the week of her book club. But, the book club has both snacks and wine. So, she went (walked there).

3 or 4 glasses of wine later, she makes a trip to the restroom, only to find out that she has bled through everything. Not good. She then goes back to the living room to check out the chair she was sitting in to see if it too, got, well, adulterated.

Here is the problem. The book club was still in full swing. It was dimly lit with candles, which made a thorough chair assesment impossible. She also was a tad tipsy. She excused herself and went home.

Here is the question: What would you do the next morning? Would you call the host of the book club that you don't know super well and ask about the chair? Or, would you leave well enough alone and hope for the best? Or, is there another solution?

Weigh in folks. Oh, and if you are currently experiencing your Aunt Flo right now, let me be the first to wish you "a happy period."

Your vote - brat, or not a brat?

Before I launch into my latest story, I have to fill you all in on the Anderson Cooper picture. Here is how the conversation went...

Deb: Hey, do we have Photoshop?

Sean: No, we don't.

Deb: But I thought we did.

Sean: No, we don't have it.

Deb: But weren't you editing a picture recently?

Sean: yes, but it wasn't with Photoshop.

Deb: Which program was it?

Sean: I don't know, some online one.

Deb: So, you know how to edit pictures?

Sean: Yes, why?

Deb: (chickening out) No reason, just wondering.

Sean: (gives me a look and goes back to his This Old House)

As of now, there will be no pic of me with Anderson. However, one astute reader did comment that surely Anderson was reading my blog on his laptop.

*******************************************************************************

Anyhow, on to bigger and brattier things. Bus stop crap. I think I've mentioned a few times that I am not really a bus stop person. Too much mommy chatter or something. Plus, kids. Lots and lots of kids. Moms chatting + kids running rampant = not my style.

This story was relayed to me by my neighbor last week. I told her I would blog about it to get your opinions. There is this 2nd grade girl at our bus stop, who is rather precocious, and kind of nosy. (these are my assesments of her). Plus, her mom is not a friendly person.

Last week, my neighbor, who is a good mom, was standing at the bus stop with her son. While waiting, she puts her hand in her coat pocket only to discover the typical mom assortment of stuff that winds up in all of our pockets. She decides to sort through it while waiting. The little girl comes up to her, stares at her, and asks what she is doing. Meanwhile, it is clear what she is doing. This kid is 8. My neighbor politely tells her that she is sorting through some stuff in her pocket. Kid keeps staring at her. While sorting, a quarter drops out of my neighbor's hand, and lands on the ground in front of the kid. The bus comes. The kid scoops up the quarter, yells "I'm gonna buy a snack with this at lunch!" and runs and gets on the bus.

Her mother wasn't there. Even if she were, she wouldn't have done anything to the kid. Her oldest kid once hit a pregnant woman at the bus stop, and she shrugged it off. I digress though.

Tell me, is she a brat, or not a brat????

Don't you think he looks lonely?

A picture of Anderson Cooper in a hotel room checking email. Should I photoshop myself next to him, or would that be weird?

No Irish Luck here...

What is fun on St. Patrick's Day:

• Wearing green (unless it is a Thursday)
  
• being silly
  
• drinking
  
• celebrating

What isn't fun on St. Patrick's Day:

• Watching your husband hurl. Especially in the kitchen trashcan. (no, he hasn't been drinking)
• Wondering if you're going to catch whatever bug he has.
• Having psychosomatic sympathy stomach pains.

Hoping your day is healthier!!! Happy St. Patty's Day!!

Off to go buy a new trashcan...

Mmm, Mmm...good?

My last 24 hours:

1. Took my daughter downtown Friday night to play in her orchestra at the swanky Union League, which is basically a playground for the rich and snotty. I did NOT attend the concert as it was a fundraiser for her orchestra. $225.00 per ticket. No thanks. Their endowment isn't first on my list of things I'm worried about.

2. After concert: picked up her 10 year old friend at 9:45 at night to help out a friend of mine who needed her to stay at my house for a night.

3. Came home around 10:30. I had a test that had to be taken and turned in by midnight. It was midterm week this week. Had not quite finished studying for said test.

4. Attempted to finish studying listening to two giggling girls upstairs "trying to fall asleep".

5. Took test, turned it in by 11:45. Got an A. I rock. Actually, I'm lucky.

6. Went to bed at 1:00am.

7. Woke up in middle of night because our first cat (aka resident cat) broke into the girl's room to launch an attack on our newest cat Ellie. Managed to avert a major catfight without waking up tweens.

8. Woke up this morning to tweens jumping on beds with the 7 year old boy.

9. Stopped bed jumping.

10. Tried to go back to sleep.

11. Had to stop bed jumping again.

12. Gave up on the notion of sleeping. Got up and made breakfast.

13. Decide to take the kids to see Pink Panther 2. Stop at Wawa to pick up snacks to sneak into movie theater.

14. Go to theater with purse bulging full of contraband. Feel like a criminal at this point.

15. See movie. We are the only ones in the theatre. Weird. Funny movie.

16. Take kids out to Benihana for lunch. Try to keep 7 year old boy occupied while tweens have usurped my iphone to take pics of lunch and email them to borrowed tweens mom.

18. Came home, tweens play. The 7 year old is outside. Tween mom calls and says she is on the way to pick up.

19. My friend Jen calls. She needs to come borrow a blazer for her son for First Communion tomorrow at church. "No problem", I say. I'm always glad to see her and the kids.

20. Jen comes. Blazer fits. Tween mom comes. We hang out. Tween mom collects child and leaves. Jen says she is leaving to go make dinner for her family.


"Stay here," I said. Call hubby and have him come over. Let's do dinner.

Folks - I had nothing decent in the house to feed anyone. What was I thinking??? As I had mentioned, it was midterms this week, and the store trip just didn't really happen. Sean's been working non stop for weeks and hasn't been around, contributing to my lack of store-going. Here's what I gave them...

- leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes (from Tuesday)
- leftover stir fry (from Thursday)
- leftover Chinese dumplings
- frozen pizza

All leftovers, heated up and thrown together. Isn't that charming? Luckily for all parties involved, Jen's husband showed up with old soft pretzels. I believe they may have been the highlight of the meal. I have to say, that they are the most fab people who appreciate anything you offer. However, this is the lowest I've gone. I even forgot to serve Tim the tapioca pudding I promised him.

The hostess with the mostess!! I'm off in search of a bowl of cereal.

The second installment of...

Fun with Deb at the store!

I found this little gem at Wegman's.

Everyone, prepare yourselves for -

Every once in a while, it is fun to have a big one.

Parenting Do's and Don'ts

I've been out of the baby phase for some time now. My kids are 10 and 7. So, when my friend Emily sent this to me last night, I was thinking how helpful they would have been back in the day. Here's hoping I can help someone out with these helpful tips...

Remember this?

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/onmylist-books-you-probably-shouldn-buy.html


Check out this list...

Little Golden Books That Never Made It

• 
  1. You Are Different and That's Bad
• 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
• 3. Dad's New Wife Robert
• 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
• 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
• 6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
• 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
• 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• 9. All Cats Go to Hell
• 10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
• 11. Some Kittens Can Fly
• 12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
• 13. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
• 14. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
• 15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
• 16. Strangers Have the Best Candy
• 17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
• 18. You Were an Accident
• 19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
• 20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
• 21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
• 22. Your Nightmares Are Real
• 23.. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
• 24. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
• 25. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
• 26.. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

There is so much to say, yet I'm speechless.

It's been a long time since I've...

won a blog award!! This little gift came to me courtesy of Rachel, from http://areservationforsix.blogspot.com/. Make sure you go check her out! No, I'm not saying that just 'cause she gave me something. (But it doesn't hurt.)

Wanna see it? I knew you did. Behold, the "Premios Dardo" blog award! Rachel calls it the smoking typewriter award, which seems more apropo. Here is what it means:

"given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing... created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Wow. I feel so literaryish. Ha! It says I have values! Ha! Oh, wait, it says personal values. Yeah. My values may differ from that of the general population. But the good news is I have this venue to spread my "values" all over the place, which to me, is a blessing.

Rule 2 of getting this award: I have to put my name in a Google search in any fashion I choose, and share with you the top 10 results.

For the first 5, I put in "DEB THINKS". Apparently, this is what is on my mind -

1. 
   
   Deb thinks Brad Pitt should be sexiest man alive - No, Deb doesn't. Have we not gone over the whole Anderson Cooper thing here? Gees.


2. 
   
   Deb thinks green - I do, but NOT on Thursdays. In my high school, if you wore green on a Thursday, you were apparently horny. Thursdays were called, "horny green Thursday."


3. 
   
   Deb thinks Carly is pregnant - That hussy? Who doesn't think so?


4. 
   
   Deb thinks we could eliminate that and take walks or ride bikes - Umm, no.


5. 
   
   Deb thinks she has jokes! - No, Deb KNOWS she has jokes.

For the next 5, I put in "DEB DOESN'T.

6. Deb doesn't add an option in update-alternatives - WTF?

7. Debbie doesn't do Dallas - I stopped doing that a long time ago.

8. Deb doesn't apply cleanly - Is nothing sacred anymore? Really, did we have to go there?

9. Debbie doesn't do battles - obviously, Google doesn't know me very well.

10. Debra doesn't take the dare - see above. I do enjoy a good game of truth or dare.

Well, that was fun. I learned a lot about myself. Instant therapy. What the hell am I paying that doctor for anyhow?

So, I'm supposed to pass this on to 10 people, but I will instead pass it on to all of my fab readers who would like to take this award, play with Google searches, and pass it on to friends. If you're feeling lazy and selfish, just take the award and do nothing with it. I make no demands upon anyone, with the exception that they come read every day, comment, buy a Debland shirt, start a game of Scrabble on FB with me, and otherwise help hold up my fragile self esteem. See, I'm an easy cheap date!

One thousand, nine hundred thirty one.

Aka...1,931.

This is how many umm...times, uhh, that my aaah, professor said umms & aahs in the month of February.

Please join me in congratulating Jessica Bern on winning the UMM contest!!

Jessica guessed 1,900. Pretty damn close, huh?

Jessica not only wins a $25.00 gift certificate to one of these fine stores:

Starbucks
Bath and Body
Kohl's
Macy's
Home Depot
HomeGoods
Dunkin Donuts
Barnes and Noble
Amazon.com
Trader Joes

but she also wins a custom Debland t-shirt!! Actually, Jessica gets one item of her choice from my new Debland CafePress store.

I am currently waiting on Jessica's acceptance speech, and will post it as soon as I get it. I'm sure this is better than any silly Oscar or Academy Award.

Bad news: The rest of you did not win. If any of you are feeling sorry for yourselves, just be glad that you weren't there and had to listen to umm...aaah...umm...uhh over and over again.

Good news: You too can own your very own Debland novelty items!

Go visit my new shop at www.cafepress.com/debland

and buy something nice for yourself. All shirts have printing on the front and the back. Yup, they'll be staring at your backside, people!

No, I am not making a profit. I had the option of marking up the items, and just said no.

That's just how I roll.

Don't I rock?

I thought so.

Congratulations Jessica!!

We have a winner!!!

Tune in tomorrow for the winner of the umm...uhh...aaah...contest!!!!

Yes, I know who the winner is, but I'm simply too catatonic to do a proper post. Feel free to whine/yell at me in the comments section.

NYC Recap

It all started with tickets given to me by my friend MommyC! Here is my sister Lisa proudly displaying our good fortune.Never wanting to miss an opportunity to be on camera, I felt the need to show mine off too.Lisa tried out to be their go-go dancer for the morning, so she got a front row seat. Look at her gloating. At a commerical break. Note, I was not trying to get a picture of Kelly here. Anderson is in the background...hubba hubba.
Kelly cavorting with Lisa during a commercial...I can only imagine she is saying..."Me, 100 lbs? bite your tongue!!" Again, note Mr. Man of Incredible Hotness in the background. I'm pretty sure at this point he's looking into the crowd to find me.

One of the guests - The Donald! His hair is as ugly as you would imagine, yet he was a charming guest. Very funny dry sense of humor. Can't imagine why I would like that

The next shot should not be confused as a gratuitous picture of Anderson's ass. It is simply a shot depicting art in journalism.

I did ask out loud to the audience coordinator. (during a commercial) if Anderson would go out to lunch with us. I even offered to pay! I can't imagine why they said no. After that, it was all a blur...

Even the Tom Selleck segment, which I did not get any pictures of. I was too consumed with Mr. Cooper. Upon exiting the studio, we were greeted by staff from ABC. My first thought was that I would be arrested for harassment, then to my delight, we were given tickets to ANOTHER SHOW!!!

Guess which one? Guess who was the guest? Another super hot person who surely would want to hang out with us, right?

We got to go to The View!!

Rob Lowe was the guest!!!!!!!!!!

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot!

He is an engaging and, how do I say it, a HOT GUEST.

My buddy, the warm up comedian from The View, Thomas J. Kelly, was kind enough to introduce me to the whole audience, and even gave out my Debland web address!

How freakin' cool is that?

I want to return the favor...go visit Tom at one of these websites

www.ihateweddings.com

www.tsa.com

www.thomasjkelly.com

Not only is he hysterical, he is a nice guy.

After spending the whole day at TV shows, we ran out of time to do lunch and shopping. It was still worth it. We made a quick run to H&H bagels, Zabars, and for the best part, we went to Magnolia Cupcakes. Nothing like some unbelievable cupcakes to top off a great day! We had the following awesome flavors:

• carrot cake with cream cheese icing
• red velvet
• devil's food with marshmallow icing
• vanilla with vanilla bean icing
• chocolate mocha
• Anderson Cooper - mmm...that one was my fav.

It was a great day with great company!