We all have to be good at something.

So, in my *free* time, I have become a slave. A slave to Facebook Scrabble. I'm not talking about a quick game here and there, I literally have 2-3 games going at once, all of the time. One would think that if I were playing the game so much, surely it would be because I am winning, correct?

NO.

I lose all the time. The people who beat me, enjoy beating me frequently. I play with my neighbor, who is a genius with words. She is a librarian by trade. Hello? Just call me Mrs. Donotstandachance. However, I persist, because she is a fascinating person who I get to chat with while we play. Even if I can't get her to type or say the word fart. That's another story.

I play with another bloggy friend, who, I'm embarassed to say, I don't know what her trade is. Obviously it is in something that makes her way better than me, most of the time. (although, knock on wood, I am currently winning against her)

I also have begun playing with a real life friend from church. (Note the word church, as it will be poignant in a minute). Generally she beats me, but there is a new development...

Innuendo Scrabble.

Yup. it is what it sounds like. You have to type a word with some kind of sexual innuendo, then you must use the chat function to pontificate as to what your point was when playing that word. Here is a little snippet of some of the phrasing that has been used...the actual Scrabble word will be in bold. I will not mention who said what.

• Sean, don't shoot your rifle prematurely


• get in the zone with the ho


• bent weiner


• don't do it and bolt


• do a complete gonad check every time


• itchy vulva

This my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg. (no pun intended)

Wanna know what the sad part is?

I've won this game more than I've lost it.

Gotta go. It's my turn.

Hey, at least we don't play it AT church.