Thanks for the memories

Couldn't post yesterday, buried in schoolwork, but I am sad to say that Monkey was sent on his way to a new destination. Later today, I will update www.monkeymemonkeyyou.blogspot.com to post the pictures from our last days together. Come check it out!

Finally done homework for the day. Taking the rest of the day off to do exciting wild things like errands! Oooh, and laundry!!! Maybe I'll get really crazy and vaccum!!!! I am a crazy unpredictable chick, you know.

Why do I care?

So I joined Facebook a month or so ago. By accident. Seriously, by accident. I was invited to view my bro-in-law's Facebook page, and before you know it, a few clicks later, I was actually a member. Yes, when I just wanted to be a lurker.

Anyhow, I have discovered that although I am a bit old for Facebook, I kind of like it. I've especially gotten into the word game applications that they offer. A few brave people have played against me, and beaten me most of the time. :)

So, what's bothering me? Even though I didn't want to join Facebook, I now suddenly care about it. Specifically, I care about the number of friends I have. I have 10 friends. Now, they're good people that are really awesome, but there are 10. Yes, 10. I only got number 10 this week. Everyone else has dozens of friends on Facebook. I have 10.

Hmm. I don't know why I'm concerned about this. I should probably be more concerned about imporant things, like my class, the kids, family, etc. Don't get me wrong, I do care about them and of course they're number 1, but still, it is in the back of my mind.

10 friends.

Well, now you see, or at least have confirmed your suspicions that I am indeed crazy. No more needs to be said. If it weren't for those damn word games, I probably wouldn't even still be on Facebook...or would I?

Random Thoughts Friday

1. I cannot believe I actually am posting Random Thoughts Friday on a FRIDAY. This must be an omen or something.

2. I am intrigued but not surprised at the resurrection of 70's toys. One such toy is Holly Hobbie. Check out this familiar picture that took me back to my youth:

I had so much Holly Hobbie stuff: pictures, doll, lunchbox, paper dolls, etc.

3. However, now that I re-evaluate that Holly Hobbie, I wonder, what is she hiding on her face? I mean, seriously, she's always covered up! My theory is

a. she's really a dude

b. she has horrible acne

c. she actually is faceless.

What do you think?

4. Check out the new Holly Hobbie of the new millenium. I prefer to call her Hoochie Hobbie:

I think we all know what her new hobby is. What do you think is in that box? I say drugs and booze.

5. Yes, I know I am weird. My sense of humor at best could be described as twisted, but you know what? I'm good with that. I like it. Yes, it has gotten me into trouble more than once, but that's ok.

6. Weirdest Google of the week: What are wingdings used for? You know, wingdings? That bizarre font on Microsoft Word? I don't get it. I suppose it could be code, but if someone sent me something written in that, rather than decode it I would probably lose my patience in about 15 seconds and crumple it.

7. Best free Craigslist listing of the week: styrofoam scraps! How useful!

8. Last and final random thought today. After eating several bowls of it this week, I have decided that Trix cereal is NOT just for kids. (Remember that ad from the days of our youth?)

Shameless plug...check out Stinky and Monkey's salon adventures from yesterday! I will be posting them on http://monkeymemonkeyyou.blogspot.com/

We had a blast!

The Monkey has landed!

 

Friends, I am participating in a very exciting event this week. I am one of many lucky hosts to Monkey, Lisagh's famous monkey from Canada. Lisagh is a blogger friend of mine, who is the author of a fabulous blog. She came up with a most ingenious idea! Lisagh is a very famous blogger in the blog world, and she has many friends here in the US. Since she couldn't take a trip to visit her blogger friends, she decided to send her adorable sock Monkey, aka "Monkey" on a US tour. Monkey has been to some great places, and now has arrived in Philadelphia to experience the US, Philly style. Our family has been obsessed with sock monkeys for the last several years here, so we were only too excited to have him for a visit.

Yesterday we took Monkey out on the town, and had a blast. Come check it out here!

Thanks to Lisagh for generously including me in Monkey's adventures.

It has been said that the best things in life are free...

Perhaps sometimes this is true. But today, I would argue, that sometimes the crappiest things are free.

I like to check out Craig's List. I do it often, because sometimes there are really great and useful things on it. We have gotten a couple of things from there:

• A piano for Evan when he started lessons
  


• A beautiful Ethan Allen dining room table
  

However, we paid for these items. These items were actually a good deal, and very nice quality.

The free stuff on Craig's list, however, isn't always (or shall i say never) as alluring. This week was an especially good week for complete garbage. Here is a sampling of some lovely items listed for free:

1. A really ugly circa 1980 rocking chair. Not just any rocking chair, but one with a rotted out torn up wicker seat. Wow your friends at your next dinner party, first with your horrible taste in seating, but also with the extra surprise of their butt breaking through the seat when they sit down on it.

2. This guy has been really persistent. He has posted this thing several times this week, begging people not to pass it up. In one of the later posts, he admits it has some stains on it, but he goes on to say, "but hey, it's free"!

3. Dirt. Last time I checked, I could get dirt from, believe it or not, my backyard! Don't dig up your own dirt, come dig up this guy's dirt! Free dirt. Wow.

4. A grounding strip that looks like it hasn't met code since the 1960's. Look at the plug on that thing! Meanwhile, you have to drive 30 minutes to pick it up. I think I would pass and just go to the hardware store to buy a safe one.

5. A "great" couch. (The lister's words) What makes it even more hilarious is that they actually disclosed that the couch is, yes, used. I would never have suspected it.

6. A "very clean" queen mattress. I don't feel the need to elaborate here.

7. An old hi-fi stereo system. I had to copy the description the owner gives it:

"Needs repair as a strong buzz plays together with music when it is hooked up to speakers"

So what? It will work fine as long as you don't actually want to hear anything on it. Ipod's have nothing on this thing.

8. A bunch of cheap plastic hangers. Not nice hangers, but the cheap ones they use in stores. That is worth it, I'm sure.

So, my question to you is, if you HAD to get one of these items, which would it be? I think I would have to go for the hangers, first because it seems like they actually WORK, and also because they're not completely DISGUSTING AND POINTLESS to give away.

Comments encouraged!

And we think romance is complicated

Romance - how to keep it alive? Having been married almost 14 years, inevitably this question has come to mind every so often. What do you think of when you contemplate romance? Here are a few things I think we can all agree would be words/ideas associated with romance:

• undying love
• surprise
• passion
• excitement
• butterflies in stomach
• flowers
• jewelry

Ok, maybe the last two ones might just be from a girl's point of view. But one word we have been leaving out is not so obvious. Thank goodness Nabisco has set us all straight. Yes, the new word for romance is:

Triscuits.

Yes, Triscuits. Have any of you seen their new boxes lately? Here is a picture of one:

The text is hard to read on the ad, but here is what it says...
"Jessica opened her box of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuit crackers. The aroma instantly transported her to the countryside. One bite, and she’d finally found the complexity and flavor she craved, a combination sadly missing from the pretty boy in the ascot."


Are they serious? It's a cracker. A crispy, salty, tasty cracker, but a cracker nonetheless. Next thing we know, and Triscuits will be on one of those lists of aphrodesiac foods. (by the way, some of the foods on those lists are ridiculous - oysters? Come on!

But, I have been married a long time. Maybe I've got to loosen up and get with the times. Maybe Triscuits will re-ignite that huge passionate spark of falling in love for the first time. This Friday night, we're having a date night. I think I'll get some Triscuits to spice things up. To really make it crazy, I'll throw in some beer and spray cheese.

Random Thoughts. It may never happen on a Friday again.

1. Exhaustion is not becoming.

2. I need to become not exhausted.

3. We're going to a party tomorrow, and I just referred to my husband as "the beer guy." Translation: He has to bring the beer to the party.

4. Went to Target for a "couple things" yesterday, spent almost $100. What is it with that place? This always happens. It cannot be a coincidence.

5. Bermuda cruise - has anyone out there done one? We found a sweet deal on one, and are contemplating its merits.

6. How could a Bermuda cruise be bad?

7. Weirdest Google of this week: Bible Beer. I was looking to find a Christian labeled beer for this party we're going to. Funny thing is, there is one that is called Arrogant Baptist. I found that to be very funny.

8. Too brain dead to post more random thoughts. Please let me know what is on your mind! What kind of thoughts do you have?

Ok, I know I said I was old...

but, obviously my mind hasn't quite caught up with my body yet. How so?


http://www.clickwishes.com/fartdad


This is a website I got from a farting Father's Day card I gave to Sean's Dad. Yes, the card I bought actually farted when you opened it.

My only complaint with this game is that it doesn't have enough levels. It is too easy to master.

Scary realization

I remember being a kid riding in the car with my father listening to the oldies station he liked. It was the late 70's, so I suppose we were listening to music from the 50's. Well, to be honest, I didn't really care for it. Actually, if you want to know the truth, I hated it. I thought it was incredibly dorky, and of course I would never do the same thing, I told myself.

Can you see where this is going? The other day, I was driving in my car, jamming to a song by General Public, and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'm doing the same thing. Oh s***, I am old!

Couple that with the nose hair discovery from last week, and I am kind of freaking out.

If I start growing huge tufts of hair on my back and the top of my chest, you have my permission to smack me. Oh, and you can help me wax.

If I start watching Fox News incessently, you can knock me off. Seriously.

Random Thoughts Friday, and yes, it is Saturday.

Friday had its own set of challenges and overscheduledness (is that a word?), so once again I am randomly rambling on a Saturday morning.

1. Took the midterm. Enough said. Did it go very well? Not sure, but I'm thinking NO! Grrr.

2. The other day, I found a nostril hair that was visible upon looking in the mirror. I believe that I now have post traumatic stress disorder from such a discovery.

3. It is 8:13 am, and I have yet to experience my first latte of the day. Pathetic.

4. Oh, and yes, I did take care of the nostril hair. It didn't stand a chance.

5. Weirdest Google of the week? "Three gross celebrities"

6. Oh, the Google search was research for my next round of the game"Would you Rather?" If you would like to know more specifics about this game, e -mail me and I'll explain. I will warn you, it is odd and potentially offensive to some. But it is so much fun.

7. I'm thinking people may be tired of the Starbucks guessing game. Should I retire it for a bit?

8. I discovered this week that the PB & J sandwich is definitely underrated. This discovery was made when I made one for myself with fresh bread, new all natural PB, and strawberry jam. Yum. Agreed?

9. Where the heck has Mommy C been? I miss you Mommy C!

10. What are you reading right now? Here is what I hope to read if I ever get a free moment from this class...it is called Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson. It is supposed to be good. I'm hoping to find out for myself soon.

Time for a latte. Can't go on...

Top 10 things I would rather be doing than studying for this stupid midterm.

Ok, maybe I'm a whiner. No, actually, I am being a whiner, ok?

I'm in a summer class, and it is all about computers. Not interesting. One of the textbooks is called "Technology in Action". Now, when I think of "action", a computer manual is not what comes to mind. The other book is called "Mastering Applications in the Real World". Sorry folks, this isn't my real world. Not that I don't love knowing about USB ports, twisted pair cables, defragging, and other tasty little computer tidbits. Really, I do. There are just other things I would rather be doing right now. Like what, you ask?

1. Cleaning Bathrooms
2. Listening to the kids fight
3. Being told I'm the World's Worst Mom
4. Going to a Yanni concert
5. Listening to a George Bush speech. (Actually, those are pretty funny)
6. Hanging out with my mother in law
7. Going to my parent's insane church, with my parents. (which makes it more insane)
8. Go to the dentist
9. Watching C-Span
10. Practice violin etudes (just kidding S!)

Do I have a bad attitude? I mean, really, are there people that actually get off on computer crap? The funniest part, is that the guy who wrote "Technology In Action", actually dedicated the book to his wife! All I have to say is she better be a techie, or he better be prepared for her to run off with someone more interesting, like an astrophysicist.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Time for some Captain Crunch.

Meet Jane, Chris' wife...

This is Jane. Jane is my brother Chris' wife. Does anyone sense a theme here?

Btw - Jane, Chris told me I could post this...so it is his fault.

Let the games begin. In other words, "Ladies, start your hormones".

Next time you see me, you'll have to congratulate me. "Why", you might ask? I have won a very prestigious award. Seriously, this is something one could only hope for. A real milestone. Are you curious?

Really curious?

Like how curious?

Ok, fine, I'll tell you what I won. But try not to be jealous.

I am...

"The World's Worst Mother"!

I know, I was shocked too. Are you curious to know what has led up to this amazing achievement? Read on. This is just a sampling of some of the scenarios that have occurred recently.

1. Last week, Alissa gets chain mail from a friend. Not email, but actual mail. Of course, if she doesn't send it to 10 of her friends, they won't get into the Guiness World Book of Records. To make matters worse, Guiness will find out that she was the one to break the chain. Here is the conversation...

Me: "Honey, this is chain mail. It isn't real, and it just wastes everybody's time. You cannot send this. People don't like getting this stuff, and I know your friend's parents won't appreciate it." Tell "E" (the girl who sent it) that it is chain mail, and that I won't let you do it.

Alissa - "How do you know it isn't real"? "E" knows this stuff. She knows a lot. This is real.

Me - (still being nice) "Honey, it isn't real. Trust me. I used to get stuff like this all of the time.

Alissa - "You are wrong. This is real. "E" is really smart."

(btw - no she's not, but I did not say this)

Me - (getting slightly annoyed) "Ok Alissa, hold on, and I'll look it up on the internet to see if it is real" (I go online, to an urban legend website, and lo and behold, there it is, giving the facts about how it is false)

"See here Alissa? It's fake. In fact, Guiness' website indicates clearly that they did not initiate this chain mail, and they don't want kids to participate in it."

Alissa - (very annoyed at this point) - "Why do you have to be one of those parents?"

Me - (knowing fully what she meant) "What do you mean sweetie"?

Alissa - "You know what I mean. You're one of those parents who...who...who...CHECKS STUFF ALL OF THE TIME! Why can't you just not pay attention and let me do whatever I want?"

Me - "Because then I wouldn't be doing my job. I can't allow you to send something out like this. I'm sorry. Besides, it's illegal."

interlude - tears, yelling, frustration from Alissa

Alissa -"Good, I'm glad it's illegal."

Me - "Why?"

Alissa - "Because then I could go to jail and do whatever I want. I could send out lots of chain mail from jail!"

Me - "Alissa..."

Evan interrupts: "Hey Mom, you said there were jails kids go to when they do stuff bad. Why don't you look one up on Google so we can take Alissa there?" (I swear, I'm serious)

No need to post what ensued. Generally, it was mayhem. Needless to say, I suppose that maybe they see me Googling stuff too much. Plus, I forgot that I had told the kids about juvenile detention.

2. We're driving the other day. Alissa was going to meet a friend, and was annoyed because she found out Evan was going to the pool, so she decided somehow that it was my fault that she decided to go play with someone. So, after explaining to her that she had already made the commitment to do something else, this is what happens...

Alissa: "It isn't fair. Evan gets to do fun stuff and I don't."

Me: "Honey, you're going to a friend's house. That is so much fun."

Alissa: "Well I didn't know Evan would get to go to the pool!"

Me: "Liss, we're going to get to go to the pool all summer. It isn't a big deal."

Alissa: "Well it is to me!"

Me: "I know, but really, you'll have a great time, and we'll go to the pool next week, ok?"

Alissa: "Ok, but only if I can go without Evan."

Me: "Well that's not really fair Alissa." You are spending the entire day with someone. He's going to the pool for an hour or so."

Alissa: " You're...you're...the WORLD'S WORST MOM!

Me: "What?"

Alissa: "You make me keep my promises and you always are trying to get me to do what is right!"

Me: " Well, sorry. It is what I have to do."

Alissa: "No, I mean it. You're the WORLD'S WORST MOM!!!"

Me: (feigning an Oscar speech) " Wow, I can't believe it. I never win anything! The competition for this prestigious award was really stiff. I didn't even prepare a speech. Let's see, first I'd like to thank..."

Alissa: "That's not funny! You think you're funny, but you're not. I don't want to talk to you!"

Me: "Ditto."

Alissa: "What do you mean by that?"

**silence**

Alissa: "Hey, I know what you meant by that!"

Luckily, (for me), we pull up at the friend's house. Apparently, despite the fact that I'm the World's Worst Mom, she had a great time. When she got home, she was as sweet as pie.

I have many more scenarios I could recite, but I think I'll hang onto them for future posts. They're all pretty funny.

Seriously, though, when you see me, make sure to congratulate me. It's not easy being the World's Worst Mother, but I will try my best to carry out the title with dignity, pride, and a couple of margaritas now and then.

Meet my brother Chris

This is Chris' new Facebook picture. Isn't he attractive? We're so proud.

Random Thoughts Friday...on Saturday

Sorry folks. It just didn't happen yesterday. I was busy from 4am till bedtime. Here's what is in my head at the moment...

1. I am so psyched b/c I made 2, yes 2 Starbucks bets yesterday. Not just any Starbucks bets, these are serious ones. If I win, I will get a Venti drink of my choice, with extra shots, as well as a pastry item of my choice. YEAH BABY!! I'm totally taking this person to the cleaners. I am confident I'll win bet #1, semi-confident about bet #2. Will keep everyone posted.

2. Check out this sign that is posted at our church. Make an educated guess as to what it means. Members of my church, you may not play if you know what it is about. It just wouldn't be fair. But, you can comment.

3. Weirdest Google of the week: "Obama smokes". I just found out last week he is a smoker. Not that I care, I really don't, but I'll admit I was surprised. He just doesn't look like one. Hopefully, for his sake, he'll be able to kick the habit. Apparently he is working on it.

4. Paula Deen is also a smoker. I found that surprising. Again, who really cares, but it is a random thought, so it must be posted.

5. Damn, gas is expensive!

6. What was your favorite popsicle flavor growing up? Hands down, mine was grape.

7. I had to go to court this week. I got nabbed for a registration violation at the end of April. The cop, and the folks at the township building all told me to plead not guilty. I felt kind of bad, because I was guilty. We had simply forgotten to re-register the car last fall when I was recuperating from surgery. I even tried to tell the cop I was guilty, and he said, "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Weird. Long story short, we registered the car the day after I got the ticket. So I went to court prepared to explain that I was guilty, but because I brought the new registration with me, they dismissed the charge. I'm getting my $165.00 back!

8. On the way to court, I saw this restaurant. I was in Lower Merion Twp, which is a pretty swanky area. Now I love sushi, but the combination of the name of this restaurant coupled with the ugly sign would prevent me from ever going there. Agreed? What a stupid name. It sounds like a playground or something.

9. When I was a little kid, I used to think we had a tape in our head that had all of the words on it that we were going to say in our lifetime. I remember asking my parents what would happen if the tape ran out, because I was really worried I would run out of stuff to say.

10. My parents laughed and said they wished I did have a tape in my head so I would stop talking so much. Wow. Feel the love!

11. Starbucks update: Went one day this week. What day did I go?

And that, my friends, concludes my random thoughts. Just for now. Until my tape runs out.

Hello, my name is...

I got this post from Megan. Megan is from the West Coast, and is a reader of my blog. She found my blog quite by accident, but has continued to drop by and check out Debland from time to time. Anyhow, she did this great post/game, and I thought it was funny. Read on, and then play along in the comments section!

Fill in the blanks. The answers you see here are my answers.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car): Heidi Tribeca

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Mint Chocolate Chip Milano

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name): D. Ker

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Black cat

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Lynn Philadelphia

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first): Kerde

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink): The Purple Margarita

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers): Robert Russell

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Brown Sugar & Fig Peanut Butter Cup

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ): Dalrymple Sheridan

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Adams Annapolis

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Fall Alstromeria

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”): Mango Pajamaie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Cafe Mocha Sugar Maple

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”): The Violin Thunderstorm Tour

I can't wait to see what your names are!

Weird News

I'll admit it, I do enjoy weird news stories. Here's a good one.

A Pringles kind of life, a Pringles kind of death
The man who invented the Pringles can was so tickled with his own invention that he had his own ashes were buried in one.

If you want to read the full story, here is the link:

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-odd/20080602/Pringles.Burial/

Perhaps all the time I spend with my friend Diane, who is in the movie business, influenced my first thought when I read this. Immediately after seeing this story, I said out loud, "that's a wrap"!

At the risk of making this un-funny, I will explain myself. When they finish production on a movie, they say that the film is "in the can".

My second thought about the whole thing is how I've always hated to get to the bottom of a can of Pringles, because it is always full of crushed up potato chips. That immediately led me to think that in this case, the can is full of crushed pieces only. Ha.

So, what would you get buried in? If you had asked me before I got my own espresso machine, I would have said a Starbucks cup. Now it might have to be in an empty bottle of salon hair color.

By popular (or non-existent) demand...

there will be no picture displayed of Sean's butt. I got one reply vehemently opposing any such picture, and I can only surmise that either one of two scenarios occured:

1. You all secretly want to see Sean's butt, but are afraid to say so.

2. You don't want to see Sean's butt, and you think I'm a little "off".


I only hope that Sean doesn't suffer any psychological fallout from the rejection he is experiencing.