I am so lucky to have spent the last 9 years at home with the kids. Really, I do feel lucky. Sometimes, however, I do lament my former days as a bank VP, dressing up in great suits and hopping into my BMW to go off to work. (Btw – the BMW was the first thing to go when I quit.) While it seems like I only remember the good days, I think I romanticize those days to an extent. Today, when I got my Urban Dictionary word of the day, I started remembering some of the crappy things about working in the corporate world.
Word of the day:
August 20: bullshit bingo
A game that can be played in large meetings. The players write down management-nonsense word like "Out-of-the-box-thinking", "Synergy", "Content streamlining" etc. in a 5 by 5 square bingo card.
If a word or phrase is used during the meeting you check the box. When you get a five box line (horizontally, vertically or diagonally ) you shout "BULLSHIT!" and win.
Company bigshot fancypants: "And that is why this merger is going to benefit shareholder value by creating value driven content.
You: "BULLSHIT BINGO!"
Company bigshot fancypants: "You're fired!"
We had a ton of BS jargon at the bank. Some of my favorites were:
- Value added
- "Convenience" Fee
- Success is Confidence, We Can Help You Get There. (I know, I don't get it either)
- Star Power (internal sales jargon)
- Solution oriented products
Then I settled back, feeling happy that once again I was reminded that being an executive wasn't all it was cracked up to be. BUT, then it dawned on me, that even now, in the life that I live, there are still bullshit phrases that are used. A lot. Things like:
- "Yes, Sean, I do agree we should watch the budget. I'm so glad you brought that up."
- "I'm sorry you feel that way honey, but I still love you." (in response to a kid that has just gone ballistic on you about something that is SO not your fault)"
- "We'll see." (When you have no intentions of saying yes)
- "Yes, I would be glad to volunteer for my millionth time this years PTA fund drive."
- "We don't eat sugar cereal, because it isn't healthy." (Meanwhile, I have my own private stash)
- "Yes, we should have your parents over. We haven't seen them in a while."
I could go on and on here. But, then I wouldn't be able to hear some of your bullshit bingo life phrases. Who wants to play?