I always swore I wouldn't use "typical" phrases that parents use when I "grew up". Said phrasing will appear in a different color. Note yesterday's dialogue between me, Evan, and Alissa. This dialogue occurs after I tell them "you need to go outside, it is such a nice day".
5:30 pm - Alissa comes inside, acting normal, seems happy.
Me -"are you having fun outside sweetie?"
Alissa - "yes"
Me - " it's really nice out today"
Alissa - "it sure is"
5:32 pm - Evan walks in, covered HEAD TO TOE IN MUD, wearing his Polo rugby shirt, and suede Merrill loafers.
Me - "Evan, what in the world happened to you?"
Alissa - "looks like he jumped in mud" (how perceptive of her)
Evan - "well you dared me Alissa!"
Me - "Alissa, is that true?"
Alissa - "well he didn't have to do it."
Evan - "yes I did, it was a dare!"
Me - "Evan, just because someone tells you do do something, doesn't mean you have to do it." (thank God I didn't use the "if your friends are jumping off a bridge" scenario. I do have some self restraint!)
Evan - "but you said..."
Me - "Evan, go into the laundry room, get undressed, and take a shower...now please!"
Evan walks through the family room, into the laundry room, tracking mud all the way. I turn to Alissa at this point.
Me -"Alissa, I would appreciate it if you choose to use your influence over Evan in ways that are good, not bad."
Alissa - "well he didn't have to..."
Me - " Why would you dare him to do something like that? Why did he say, but it was a dare?"
Alissa - "maybe it has something to do with the grape Gatorade."
Me - " I don't know what you mean. Sweetie, why don't you go find something else to do?"
Alissa exits the room. All of a sudden, it hits me what she meant. Rewind several days, maybe even a week ago. I was hanging around talking with my violin teacher, S (I won't use his whole name without his permission), who happens to be a very funny and charming 24 year old young man. (who also is a violin virtuoso) He's great. We've been with him for 4 years now. I especially think he is great because he puts up with me week after week, both with my marginal playing, and with my unusual sense of humor. We're talking about junk foods, and I mentioned that I noticed some strange side effects after consuming Captain Crunch crunch berries for several days. (it turned my pee a weird color) The following is a snippet of the conversation...
S - "well have you ever drank a bunch of grape Gatorade?"
Me - "no, why?"
S - something to the effect of "you'll see"
Me - "I don't believe you"
S - "no, I'm serious"
Me (wheels turning) - "ok, I'll do it"
S - something like, "it has a very weird effect."
So, he doesn't tell me, what do I do next?
Immediately that evening, I go and buy a TON of the stuff. Fast forward to a couple of days later...I'm on the phone with either Susan or Jen. Can't remember who.
Me - " I've been drinking so much grape gatorade, and nothing has happened, except for that I've consumed an ungodly amount of completely unnecessary calories. I think he's putting me on."
Friend - "why don't you stop?"
Me - "no way! It's kind of like a dare!"
I guess Evan and Alissa must have heard my side of the conversation. It explains Evan's tenacity in wanting do do Alissa's dare.
So, last night the kids and I talked for a while, and I won't bore you with all of the colored text that would follow, because I sounded just like a typical Mom the entire time. But, it was worth it, because we talked about good dares vs. bad dares, etc. They got it.
I just can't fall into typical Mom as a daily habit. Then the whole landscape of this blog would have to change, and then it would not be Debland.
Oh yes, and what happens if you drink a ton of Grape Gatorade? I dare you to find out. I finally did, 4 bottles later.