Dear Family,
I encountered a most unfortunate situation the other day, and while I have struggled with it, I feel I must bring it to your attention.
You know how I feel about my hair. Really, you do. It is something I take seriously, and I just like to keep to my hair routine that I have had for many years now. But, it seems there is a bit of a problem.
You know that extra towel I keep in the bathroom for my hair after I am done showering? Yes, the one that is in my spot, which everyone knows is mine? The one no one is supposed to use? Yes, that's the one. So, yesterday afternoon, just like any other day, I get out of the shower, dry off, and wrap my hair in my "special" towel. Remember, I do not have my contacts in at this point. This is an integral part of the story. Imagine my surprise when I do put in my contacts, and then proceed to take the towel off of my head, only to see that there is BUTT on my towel. Yes, BUTT. And no, it wasn't mine. Remember, this is my hair towel, NOT a body towel.
To make matters worse, I cannot jump back in the shower, because I have to pick up two kids from school in 15 minutes to get them to the dentist. I have no choice but to proceed as usual, except for the fact that somewhere in my hair, there is BUTT in it. I spent the rest of yesterday completely freaked out by this situation, yet due to a frenetic schedule, could not remedy it. So, I spent the balance of the day yesterday walking around with someone's BUTT in my hair. This is a most unpleasant circumstance to say the least. I went to the dentist this way, I went to visit a friend in the hospital this way, and finally ended up at Tequila Joe's to have a margarita with Susan this way. I did not intend to spend the rest of the day like this, but was simply a victim of time.
I'm not sure where to start here, but suffice it to say, that when you are done your shower, please use YOUR OWN TOWEL. Do NOT use my hair towel to wipe off, especially if you plan on wiping your BUTT with it. Also, if you notice that you have gotten BUTT on a towel, please do us all a favor and put it IN THE LAUNDRY. Finally, maybe you need to examine your personal hygeine habits, but I'll save that post for another time.
By the way, Alissa, I know this isn't you sweetie, as you are totally compulsive about using your own towel that you ingeniously keep in your room. It is either Evan or your father who is the culprit here. I am hoping it is Evan, as he is only in kindergarten and not a grown man who is a Director of Product Development for a large company. Regardless, I know neither one of you will fess up, so take this as a warning. DON'T touch my towel, ever again, especially in this fashion.
I've got to get a shower, immediately.
Love,
Your (literally) "butt-head" wife or mother.
6 comments:
My condolences, Deb. I'm hoping it was Evan, for your own sanity sake.
BTW, love the graphic.
Did you use any interrogation methods last night to find who the culprit was? Any confessions?
Retaliation might be the only solution...
I am open to any and all interrogation suggestions.
I'm a little slow today but what is butt? Did the towel say butt on it (this is what I am hoping) like those head/butt towels. Or was there a picture of a butt on it? Not actual butt, right? oy - stressing me out just thinking about it!!
Nope Kerry, it was actual butt. Poop stains, to be exacting. I actually thought of you when I did this post, because I was thinking about your white face washcloths you had posted about on your blog recently.
It was a most traumatizing experience. Living with guys is gross. Of course they're both vehemently denying any involvement in said towel incident.
Oh lord Deb! I would have passed out. seriously it would have been too much to take... I am soooo sorrry that happened to you!
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