Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Watch out, Dept. of Homeland Security!


I finally won something. No one knows it, and there wasn't a formal contest or anything, but I won, hands down.

What did I win, you ask?

I'm very, very, ashamed to admit that I have won the award for:

Ugliest passport picture in the history of the US!

You see, we're going on a cruise to Bermuda in a few weeks. Very exciting. While you don't have to have a passport for Bermuda until 2009, we figured that we should get mine renewed, and get some for the kids, as Sean travels to Europe several times a year for business, usually Switzerland and areas surrounding it. Hopefully we'll get to join him sometime.

Seriously, though, the picture is disturbing. Do they try to make you look as ugly as possible for pictures like this? Here are some of the specific problems with the picture:

1. Hair. Now this is really getting personal. I love hair. I love to go to the salon, I love getting highlights, I just always have taken pride in my hair. In fact, I went to the picture with my hair all blown out, ready to go, and looking good.

Problem: THEY MAKE YOU TUCK YOUR HAIR BEHIND THE EARS FOR A PASSPORT PICTURE!!!! I think they just want everyone to feel shitty about how big their faces might be. Plus, perhaps they are jealous of hair that looks reasonably good.

2. Lighting. While I'm not expecting studio quality lighting, I'm also not expecting trashy institutional flourescent lighting. I look like I've just been booked at the local police station.

3. Zit. Now, this isn't the fault of the passport picture place, but I've got a real shiner on my cheek in the picture. I tried my best to get it under control, but boy oh boy, it seriously resembles the Target emblem.

4. Expression. You may not have any expression at all for the picture. This is what is really disturbing. I look angry, dejected, disapproving, annoyed. In fact, I think what bothers me so much about this is that I look like my Mom looked for most of my childhood. Wow, did I just say that?

So, please feel free to congratulate me in person, or here with some comment love. It's not everyday that one wins such a notable award.

Oh, and I'm not posting the picture on my blog. I don't want to lose readers. Well, I would post it for money. A lot of money. So if anyone wants to pony up...


More, More, More said...

I was so excited to have to get a new photo for a trip to the Bahamas last fall. It had been 10 years and my last photo was as bad as you are describing! At least you're going somewhere fun!

MommyC said...

With all that hoopla...you HAVE to show us the picture now!

David D. said...

Yeah, let's see the picture!

Tenakim said...

you sooo have to show us that picture!