Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I can't believe you want to see it.

Ok,



Unless I'm ever severely inebriated and blogging, my passport picture and I will be sharing ourselves with no one. Well, no one except Customs.



On to bigger and better things...guess where I'll be tomorrow?





Yup! I'll be in NYC bright and early tomorrow morning. Got tickets to The View. I went last November, and it was really fun. On that show, they had Jerry Seinfeld on, and we all won this amazing HP Photosmart fax/copier/scanner/printer thing! Also got some other stuff as well. It was fun to be a part of a TV show, and even more fun to win prizes!

I don't even watch The View. I used to many years ago. It was fun to watch while I was nursing babies. Now that my babies are going to be 10 and 7, it just doesn't work anymore. But, like I said, it was tons of fun to go. Barbara Walters was there last time too. She looks damn good for her age.

The best part is that this time, I'll be on two feet in NY! Last time, I went after my foot was reconstructed and my loving friend, sister, and sister in law helped me around town on my scooter and foot immobilizer. This time, I'm on my own.

So who is going? Glad you asked. The cast of characters :(and we really are characters!)

Me (enough said)

My sister Lisa (adorable and lots of fun)

My friend Diane (wild, crazy, and doesnt' take shit from anyone)

My sister in law Kirsten (the responsible one who will make sure we all get home alive)

Wish me luck! I'll post lots of pics after the adventure!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Watch out, Dept. of Homeland Security!

Ok,

I finally won something. No one knows it, and there wasn't a formal contest or anything, but I won, hands down.

What did I win, you ask?

I'm very, very, ashamed to admit that I have won the award for:

Ugliest passport picture in the history of the US!

You see, we're going on a cruise to Bermuda in a few weeks. Very exciting. While you don't have to have a passport for Bermuda until 2009, we figured that we should get mine renewed, and get some for the kids, as Sean travels to Europe several times a year for business, usually Switzerland and areas surrounding it. Hopefully we'll get to join him sometime.

Seriously, though, the picture is disturbing. Do they try to make you look as ugly as possible for pictures like this? Here are some of the specific problems with the picture:

1. Hair. Now this is really getting personal. I love hair. I love to go to the salon, I love getting highlights, I just always have taken pride in my hair. In fact, I went to the picture with my hair all blown out, ready to go, and looking good.

Problem: THEY MAKE YOU TUCK YOUR HAIR BEHIND THE EARS FOR A PASSPORT PICTURE!!!! I think they just want everyone to feel shitty about how big their faces might be. Plus, perhaps they are jealous of hair that looks reasonably good.

2. Lighting. While I'm not expecting studio quality lighting, I'm also not expecting trashy institutional flourescent lighting. I look like I've just been booked at the local police station.

3. Zit. Now, this isn't the fault of the passport picture place, but I've got a real shiner on my cheek in the picture. I tried my best to get it under control, but boy oh boy, it seriously resembles the Target emblem.

4. Expression. You may not have any expression at all for the picture. This is what is really disturbing. I look angry, dejected, disapproving, annoyed. In fact, I think what bothers me so much about this is that I look like my Mom looked for most of my childhood. Wow, did I just say that?


So, please feel free to congratulate me in person, or here with some comment love. It's not everyday that one wins such a notable award.

Oh, and I'm not posting the picture on my blog. I don't want to lose readers. Well, I would post it for money. A lot of money. So if anyone wants to pony up...




Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sunday...Sunday...Sunday!!!!

Happy Sunday everyone. I have to be at church in a little over an hour. I should be taking my shower, feeding people, and emptying the dishwasher. Yet, here I sit blogging. Aaah, blogging. I do enjoy it. I'm loving meeting all of the great people out there who share a bit of themselves with me everyday.

Speaking of sharing yourselves, you know why I love Sundays? One of the main reasons is because that is the day Post Secret gets updated. Who has heard of Post Secret? For those of you who are not familiar with it, it's a website where folks mail in a variety of secrets about themselves that they otherwise wouldn't disclose. The secrets can be funny, or heartbreakingly raw and honest. You have to mail in your secret on a postcard, and you are encouraged to be as succinct and as creative if possible. Go check it out! www.postsecret.com

A couple of questions for you to ponder, and reply to:

1. Have you ever sent a card to Post Secret?
2. Would you ever send one in?
3. What would be a funny secret about yourself that you would mail in?

I'll answer first.

1. No, I haven't mailed one in.

2. I might send one in, but feel like I might not be creative enough to get published. Plus, I have so many things I would want to say, it would be hard to pick one.

3. A funny secret about me?

As a kid, I used to find my wrapped Christmas presents my parents hid, I would carefully open them, look at them, and then re-wrap them. As far as I know, my parents don't know I did this.

Who's next?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Can someone pass the Stridex, please?

Ok, really. I just don't think this is fair. Right now, I'm experiencing the fun side effects of being, well, you know, getting deeper into my late 30's. Nothing crazy or anything, just the run of the mill stuff like:

-gray hairs, which are taken care of during frequent salon trips
-occasional chin hairs, which are plucked at once
-a more "experienced" looking face
-raging PMS
-my body worshipping gravity
-warranties running out on body parts like knees, feet, etc


So, without trying to sound super petulant, why, oh why am I being revisited by my old friend acne? Seriously people, lately I could give any teenager a run for their money. I just looked in the mirror, and it seems that I am trying to become a walking dot to dot coloring page or a constellation. Yes, I have admitted that I do find popping pimples to be satisfying, but I wasn't talking about mine!!!

This isn't what I was looking for when I was trying to look and feel younger, because I still look and feel older, but also have to put up with this crap!

Am I alone here?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers!

Thanks to all who participated in the Q&A! Sorry I couldn't post until today. The schedule was crazy for the last few days!


First question, from Kerry

I'll start... and I'll ask the same question I ask everyone because I am just curious.
Why did you decide to start blogging? Do your friends read? What about your family?

Great question Kerry! I decided to start blogging after contemplating it for a year or so. As you may be able to tell (ha ha), I'm kind of an outspoken talkative type, with a wacked sense of humor, and I've always wanted to have a different forum to express myself in. Blogging just seems to fit my personality. What I think is great about it, is that everyone can be a writer when they blog, and they can be pretty free with their thoughts and feelings on it.

The only friends and family that I have told about it are the ones who I feel can "handle" it. What I mean by that, is I've told the ones who I feel already know me pretty well and "get" me. That being said, I do realize there are risks to not being completely anonymous, which sometimes can make you think twice about what you say. For every family member or friend who knows about it there are probably 4-5 people who don't know it. I'm pretty active at our church, and most church people I know are not privy to my blog. My parents and inlaws definitely don't know about it!


Next, from Megan

If someone was to come and visit you, what kind of a weekend would you plan? :)

Hey Megan,

Are you coming for a visit? J Well, I suppose it depends on who was coming. You saw how I treated the sock monkey who came into town! If they haven't been in Philadelphia before, I would definitely do the whole downtown thing like we did with monkey. The nice thing about where we live is the quick access to so many things. Within 2 hours, we could be in the mountains, the Jersey shore, the country, or even in Washington D.C. So let me know when you're coming!


Mommy C writes:

I want to know about your most embarrassing moment.

Wow, Mommy C., I can't believe you would want to know something like that about me!!! There are just so many stories I could tell. Hmm…well, since you're expecting, I'll tell you a pregnancy story. When I was pregnant with Evan, we had gone on vacation to Florida to visit my sister. On the way home, we had a particularly turbulent flight. Given my predisposition to motion sickness, I knew that this would not be a good situation. Long story short, I puked my guts up, might have even used 2 bags! Unfortunately, my aim wasn't the best, and I wound up getting the front of my shirt pretty well. Uggh. When we landed, I felt crappy, and looked even worse. When we were walking down to baggage claim, who should we run into but the CFO of Sean's company! I had the distinct pleasure of meeting him with barf all down the front of my shirt. Not my finest moment. There are more stories where that came from, trust me!


Last, my way fun bro Chris asks:

What is something about Sean that your blog readers should know, but would really annoy him if you posted it?

Well, Chris, it is about time you know. The truth is, Sean has a huge crush on you, but doesn't quite know how to tell you about it. He only married me to get to you. Is there any way you'll be willing to let him down easy? J

Oh, one more fact about Sean that is interesting given his usually analytical engineering-type personality, is that he cries when he watches kids movies. All kids movies. It can actually get a bit embarrassing. (for me)

Thanks again for the questions guys! I'm sure we'll play this game again…


Monday, July 21, 2008

Q & A


Hi everyone,

Hope you had a nice weekend! It was super hot and humid here in the Phila area. The kind of hot where it is too hot to do anything at all, hence the wreck of a house and tons of laundry I will be encountering today, tomorrow, the next day, etc.

So, I'm going to try something that I've enjoyed reading/doing on other blogs over the past few months. Today, I am opening up the floor for questions. Perhaps there is something you are curious to know about me, or what I think of things. So, throw caution to the wind, and ask away. I will say this for the folks who don't know me well. I am SO not easily offended, nor do I consider things to be taboo. This is probably my greatest strength and weakness combined.

ADDED BONUS: To show you just how willing I am to answer each and every question, I would encourage anyone who does not wish to identify themselves to please utilize the "anonymous" identification. Or, if you're going to ask something crazy and are brazen enough to show yourself, I applaud that as well.

Come on...fire away!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

You love me! You really love me!


Look what I got yesterday!!








This award is from Tena. Thanks Tena! Over the past couple of months I have been making new blog friends, and finding more and more fantastic blogs to read. Tena's blog is very funny, very honest, and all around just a great read. She also is the proud owner of a "slutty van". Go check her out!


When one wins a blog award, it is very important that you forward it to other people whose blogs you enjoy. Please join me in congratulating the following outstanding bloggers who are certainly more deserving of this award than I am!


Lisagh – A lovely friend in Canada who is the mastermind behind the traveling sock monkey website…http://monkeymemonkeyyou.blogspot.com/. Lisagh has a great dry sense of humor, and like me, finds most subjects to be completely acceptable regardless if they are or not.


Kerry – A fun and interesting girl who is just about my age, and has kids close to my kids age. I enjoy reading about her daily comings and goings, and her take on life.


Veronica – Veronica is one of my faithful blog readers who lives the farthest away! Yes, she visits my website all the way from Australia. Her blog rocks.



Jennifer – Jennifer has a hysterical website that highlights the hilarity of being a mom to 2 small children.


Lotus – Trust me, you just have to read this.


Megan – Megan stumbled upon my blog quite by accident, and is a faithful reader. Her blog covers a wide variety of subjects, all with humor and a positive outlook.




Congratulations ladies!!! Don't forget to pass the blog- love on!


Friday, July 18, 2008

The results are in!!

Ok, you know me pretty well folks. Here's what happened at swimming class last night...

1. I purposely and successfully touched two people's wacky noodles (from the back). One was a guy, and one a girl. I found out later they are married.

2. Yes, I did laugh at words that could be construed in an immature fashion.

3. At one point, Kylee made me laugh, and I almost fell off the noodle.


NO, I did not say anything stupid. Who voted for that? Show yourself! Just kidding. It was entirely possible that I would do that and whoever voted for that obviously knows me well.

Kylee and I had fun. At one point, poor Kylee was trapped against the wall between me and this older lady who decided to chat about knee surgeries, both past and present. She gracefully extricated herself from the boring-ness. I don't blame her. In fact, I would have done it too.

We wrapped up in the hot tub, until the hot tub timer turned off and we couldn't figure out how to turn it back on.

All in all, fun, funny, and fit-producing. (is that a word?)

Stay tuned for tomorrow! I won a blogging award, and I'm excited to show it to you!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Guess what time it is?


Yes, it is time for a 2nd swimming class. I thought it would be fun to poll all of my readers to see what you think might happen tonight. Happy voting!!



Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ooops, I did it again.


Monday - Decide to go to Target. Here is my list of what I needed to get:


1. Large plastic storage bin. On sale for $5.00.



Here is what I left with:


1. Large plastic storage bin.

2. Birdseed

3. Cat Litter

4. Boys underwear

5. Sharpie Markers

6. A pack of pirate eye patches and fake earrings - for my costume obsessed son.

7. A blue raspberry slurpee

8. A cherry slurpee

9. A cherry Pepsi slurpee

10. A bag of Chex Mix

11. A bag of chips

12. A soft pretzel


I swear, I only went in for one thing! How does this happen every time? To add insult to injury, the HUGE box of cat litter that I strategically placed under the cart fell. What's the big deal with that? It fell on my surgical foot!!! Right on top, right where it hurts!!! I swear, I thought I was going to puke. I could barely put my sneaker on yesterday because my foot was so swollen. Damn. Damn you Target.


I hate Target. I'm never going back there.


I love Target. I'm sure I'll be back there in less than a week.


Sigh.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

What would your underwear say?

So I'm on Old Navy's website this morning, and look what I stumble upon in the girl's section: Now, I don't want to be a fuddy duddy or anything...(do people use the word fuddy duddy anymore?), but is this really necessary? I mean, would you want your daughter to be walking around sporting these? I would not.
Aside: Speaking of daughters, Alissa put together and chose the colors for my new blog skin I have right now. So, while it may be a bit tween-ish, I have to say, I like it! Plus, we had fun working on it together. Any tween parents out there will agree that you have to find the things you have in common and go with it. This provided us with a couple hours of quality time.

But, this whole underwear thing got me thinking...at this juncture of my life, what would the back of my underwear say? Here are a few ideas I came up with...






That's about it for now. If you are feeling as weird as me, or if you just want to have some fun, tell me what your undies would say!!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Rainy Monday Meme


 

I got this from Kerry's blog. Thought it was fun, so I am taking a crack at it…

MeMe... ME!


\

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
I'm thinking the better question is, what isn't in the back seat of my car right now? Time for a cleanout.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
A couple of months ago. Nasty stomach bug.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
Not that I don't curse sometimes, because I do, but I must say I am a big fan of the word "crap".

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Sean, Diane, that's it so far


5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
On the internet, catching up on blogs.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talking on the phone to Diane.


7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Running errands, nothing too exciting.


8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes.


9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"I'm sorry that doesn't fit into your plans." (Talking to daughter Alissa, who was disgruntled)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Mint Chocolate Chip

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Caffe Mocha, made by none other than me!

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Scrambled eggs, blueberries, and cornbread.l

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.

15. When was the last time you ran? 1988 J

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Wimbledon

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
Veronica

19. Ever go camping?
Nope. Not a camping type of girl.

20. Do you have a tan? Not really.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
if it's a fountain drink - yes.

25. What did your last IM say? Haven't IM'ed in forever!

26. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Not sure.

28. Where is your mom right now?
I guess at home.

29. Look to your left, what do you see? A wall in our family room.

30. What color is your watch? stainless

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ? Far away, would like to go there.


32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
yes

33. What is your birthstone?
Opal


34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Don't do fast food, but love drive up Starbucks!

35.How many kids do you want? I have 2 and do not want another

36. Do you have a dog?
No


37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Diane

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes.

39. Any plans today?
Errandish type of stuff

40. How many states have you lived in?
1


41. Ever go to college?
Yes,
currently am back in college
too.

42. Where are you right now?
Home


43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Can't decide


44. Last song listened to?
Don't remember, something on XM 80's channel

46. Are you allergic to anything?
bees

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Don't have a favorite pair right now, as I have to wear stupid looking shoes until I completely recover from my foot surgery.

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Sure, isn't everyone? It's not constant, and not about the same person all of the time, but it does happen.

50. Is anyone jealous of you? I have no idea.

51. What time is it?
10:46am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
yes.

53. Do you eat healthy?
Most of the time, but do have my vices.


54. What do you usually do during the day?
Normally schoolwork, but am in between classes at the moment. Doing the summer thing with kids, friends, etc.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Ask my therapist.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
I think I do, but am more prone to saying hi, or hey.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
26? Ok, fine, 37. Are you happy now?

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes, and I think it is a scary place.


60. How did you get one of your scars?
There are so many answers to this. I am "blessed" with many scars.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Deb and swimming class, Vol 1

So, as promised, I will share my tales from the first swim exercise class:

First, I should say that the pool was warm, clean, and very relaxing. The people there were really all nice, and most were surgery veterans as I am. The only difference is that they were old with surgical scars, I am pre-old with surgical scars. Kylee was the only non surgical person there, as far as I could tell.

The funniest part about the class was the wacky noodles. I assume you all know what a wacky noodle is, but just in case, I will describe: a wacky noodle is about a 4 ft long tubular bendable floating device. I did find an amusing picture of wacky noodles here:


By the way, NOBODY in the class looked like these folks, and no guys were carrying chicks around.

When you enter into the pool, you must take a wacky noodle, and put it between your legs so one end looks like it is coming out of your backside, and the front end, well, I suppose you can guess what that looks like. The wacky noodle keeps you afloat, and therefore non weightbearing. The funniest part is during warm up. You just paddle and kick your way around chatting with folks. I found it very hard to act natural talking to people while I had these giant protrusions sticking out of each end. It was especially funny when the (old) guys would come up and start talking to you, all whilst occasionally "adjusting" their wacky noodle in front of them. As it would happen, I would try to catch Kylee's eye to try to make her laugh. Luckily, she was able to resist my silliness.

One guy was particularly interested in chatting with us. He asked us many questions about how we had met, etc. Once he found out that we had known each other for so long, and married college room mates, etc, he made some odd comment to the effect of "Wow, I bet you two have a wild history. Bet you could write a book!" While what he said was right on, it was just a little creepy to be talking to a guy we didn't know, especially a guy sitting on a giant green wacky noodle.

Before the final observation, I will be the first one to say that me in a bathing suit is not cool. It should probably be illegal. Unfortunately, the other participants in the class had to experience this unpleasantness.

But, I cannot resist...final observation- does anyone remember the Seinfeld episode where Kramer wants to invent the "bro", or the "man-ssie're"? Well, they would have had some qualified candidates in this class!

Sadly, I have to report to Megan, http://meganhallpass.blogspot.com/, that no Speedos were encountered this week in class. Sorry Megan! :)

The end of the class was the best. Kylee and I logged in a little hot tub time, and noted that the hot tub contains drink holders. I have considered the merits of bringing wine in coffee travel mugs to enjoy in the hot tub afterwards. Will keep pondering this.

Friday, July 11, 2008

More info to come!

I do have an update on how the swimming class went. I just don't have time to post it now. Stay tuned...at least you know I lived to tell the tale since I'm posting right now!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

If I start touting the benefits of Metamucil...

then you'll know my new classmates will have been a bad influence on me. Classmates, you say? Not college classmates, exercise classmates. See picture below. By the way, this isn't an actual picture of where I'll be, but you get the idea.

Quick story for my readers that don't know me...last year my stupid arch in my foot totally collapsed due to a tendon rupture, and I had the good fortune of going through a nasty foot reconstruction. I'll spare you the details, but the recovery time was/is a year. It sucked. My surgery was last August.

Anyhow, my surgeon and physical therapy people that treated me recommended that I take a water exercise class, since it is low impact, etc, etc. I've been hesitant to get signed up for one. This is where Kylee comes in...

Kylee is my good friend from childhood. She weathered the same crazy wacko church that I was brought up in, and like me, has lived to tell the tale. We have seen each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. We were in each other's weddings. We have daughters the same age. We used to be known for throwing some kick ass parties at her parents house when they were out of town. We also were known to show up at some kick ass parties at our now husband's college. Yes, we actually married college roommates. We may or may not have had a wild and crazy mommy sleepover a year or so ago. There is no proof. :) We enjoy a fun, meaningful, and occasionally sophmoric relationship. Kylee rocks.

Anyhow, Kylee started a water exercise class recently. She told me about it, and after thinking about it, I decided I should totally take it. First of all, because I need to, and secondly because who better to take such a class with? The best part is that the class is full of old people. Yup. Old people. I actually like old people. She and I are going to be the cool chicks, the bad asses in the class, hopefully in the back row, giggling and passing notes. Hmm, passing notes in the pool might be hard. Guess we'll have to whisper.

Stay tuned for what hopefully will be a great source of blog fodder.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

It's over!!!

So school is over. I finished my final. My original blog post was going to be about all of the stuff I need to do to catch up, but instead I'll post about something funny that happened yesterday.

Remember this post from Saturday?

Don't judge this book by its cover: Open mouth, insert foot


So, he gets home yesterday, looks at my hair and says, "Did you just get a haircut today?"

I swear. He said that. Go figure.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

"Cordially"

Ok, so when someone signs an email using the closing "Cordially", what would you think? Warm, friendly, approachable? I think not. Why am I bringing this up?

I've mentioned that I am in a summer class. An un-fun summer class. Granted, classes surely don't always have to be fun, but this one really stinks. It was mandatory. I now know more than I ever wanted to know about computers. Seriously. I could even start talking programming languages with you, but I'll spare you.

One of the toughest things about this class has been the amount of time I have had to invest in it. Because it is a summer class, the coursework is accelerated. I am putting in 30+ hours/week on this class. Am I whining? Not really. Well maybe. But it has been tough on everyone here with me pretty much unavailable most of the time. It is an online class, so it is a double edged sword. Yes, I get to do the work from home, but I also have to do the work from home, with kids, in the middle of kitchen construction...(done solely by hubby) ...are you getting the idea here?

I'm the type of student who wants to do well, in fact I need to do well, as school is kind of a contributor to one's ego, with grades etc. I haven't gotten grades or performance evaluations since I stopped working 8 years ago. So in that regard, school is good. Plus, I would like to get good grades.

I do ask questions from time to time. Again, since this is an online class, you have to do everything via e-mail and the school's website. I have asked my professor a couple of legitimate questions this semester, only to be answered curtly, and to add insult to injury, she signs her correspondence "Cordially". She's rude, to be blunt. So, recently I sent her a reply email telling her (nicely), that I'm sorry to have disturbed her. (a passive aggressive move on my part) She sends me this nice email, which I have copied the ending for you here, in italics and quotes:

"Don't ever think you are disturbing me!
I checked after reading your email to find where I had mentioned that you could take submit case grader up to four times.
Continue to ask questions - it is the only way to learn.

Have a good day!
Prof. (I took her name out), Assistant Professor, Computer Science, MCCC (Montgomery Cty. Community College)"

So I'm feeling better about her. Not only wasn't I disturbing her, she had to look up her own syllabus to find out the answer I was looking for. Her grammar isn't so wonderful either.

Last week I had a question. I email her, only to get this closing: (in italics and quotes)

"Same problem as step 18.

Cordially, Prof. (again, I took out her name)"


All I can say is MIXED MESSAGES !!!

This woman is really, how should I say, hmmm...a (fill in the blank)? Observations from Deb:

1. You said to ask questions via e-mail.
2. I've only asked 3 questions the whole semester.
3. You said I wasn't disturbing you.
4. Your tone indicates otherwise.
5. You are an assistant professor at a Community College. We're not talking Harvard here.
6. Your syllabus says you will get back to us within a couple of days. You didn't reply to my email for 2 weeks.
7. I cannot wait to get my class evaluation form. Enough said.

I have a final tomorrow. Wish me luck - I'm going to need it!

Am I being unreasonable?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Summer gardens

Actually this post has nothing to do with gardening, but it does involve a funny joke my friend Susan sent me...joke appears in italics:

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter Comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, Telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over And that it is just not appropriate.
The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, Then I can display my hanging baskets.'


By posting this, I am not alluding in any way to the current state of my "flowers".

Btw- I just giggled and snorted when typing the last sentence.

Comments? Feel free as you are moved to share.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Open mouth, insert foot

Something husbands probably shouldn't say:

A few days after I visit my salon for my cut and color, we're driving through the neighborhood and see a couple of the other moms out and about.

Sean: "Wow, every mom in this neighborhood has the same haircut". Meanwhile, he knows I just had my hair done.


Just sayin'. By the way, they copied me.

I feel better now, and welcome any shares of stupid husband comments...

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of July!


What is everyone up to on this holiday? Every year, we go to our local community parade. We live in a small town outside of Philadelphia. Every year I dread it, because it is the same. When I say the same, I mean the same. Endless throngs of fire trucks from every fire company in a 20 mile vicinity, bagpipe bands, local politicians, the local kids dentist, etc. You get it. It is tacky, yet it is also an institution in our town. I tried to get out of going this year, but the kids wouldn't hear of it! So, we went.
A funny thing happened today though. Today, after going for so many years (probably around 30), I saw the parade through different eyes. Yes, I saw the fire trucks, and all the same old same old, but what I noticed today is what was going on around me. Friends, families, neighbors, all out together. We were surrounded with chatting, laughter, excitement, kids chasing the candy that was thrown from the floats, and the local business owners chatting and giving away freebies. I saw happy faces, albeit the same faces for the most part, in the exact same place they had sat year after year like I have. I saw community. I saw tradition, I saw happiness.
You know what? It was a good time. I can't believe I'm saying it, but it was. Maybe it just took me that many years to see what really goes on at our local parade.
Happy 4th everyone! Tell me what you were up to today!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I think it might be my fault…

So Sean gets me an espresso/cappuccino maker on Mother's Day so I'll stop spending so much damn money at Starbucks, because he knows how much I love my lattes and café mochas. I find it more than just a coincidence that I read this headline the other day.


Starbucks to close 600 stores nationwide

Slow consumer spending leads to more cutbacks

By Wailin Wong Chicago Tribune reporter July 1, 2008

Starbucks Corp. will begin shuttering 600 stores nationwide at the end of July, cutting about 7 percent of its global workforce as it sheds unprofitable locations and responds to a drop-off in consumer spending


Was I really spending that much there? It looks as if the empire is crumbling folks. My apologies. I meant no harm.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Best way to have your kids get made fun of at a sleepover...

For my readers who are familiar with me, you are aware that my childhood religion is one of my life subjects that I talk about. A lot. My religious upbringing was quite stringent and fundamental, to say the least. While it was odd growing up in it, and even odder now that I contemplate it as a parent, it definitely has been a source of blog fodder and interesting conversation with rational sane people. (unlike the people I went to church with as a kid)

Before I post these pictures, I would like to indicate that our family still participates in church. We're just not insane. We are Lutherans, which has worked out really well for us. Plus, we really do respect other people's right to worship and participate in religion as they see fit. So, I hope I don't offend anyone, but you have to see these pajamas I found from these total fundamental wackjobs online:
Here is the accompanying description for the PJ's:


Pajama top with breastplate of righteousness and belt of truth hem.
Pajama pants with wings of peace to cover feet.
Helmet of salvation.
Shield of faith pillow.



The boys version:


The girl's version:


Are they kidding, you might ask? No, actually they are not. I can't even imagine that these are real, but I can say with confidence that if they had been around when we were kids, we probably would have gotten them for Christmas or our birthday.

Panic thought of the day: I sure hope my parents don't ever find out about these.

Otherwise Alissa and Evan, and the other grandchildren will be sporting them. Reminds me of the movie "A Christmas Story" where the boy Ralphie is made to wear pink bunny pj's that his aunt makes him...remember that?

Sweet dreams everyone.

Final Monkey pics now available

Better late than never...

come check out Monkey's last day with us!

http://monkeymemonkeyyou.blogspot.com

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

So embarassing, yet so appropriate...

So I'm sitting at the swim club yesterday afternoon, after a wretched week of school involving tons of homework, tests, and computer malfunction (which stinks when you are taking a computer class).

I'm sitting there, like every other suburban mom, just trying to read a magazine. This in itself is a treat given the fact that I usually bring 1 or 2 unwieldy textbooks to the pool. So, usually I look like a superdork at the pool, yesterday, I just looked like every other capri pants wearing mom.

In between chatting with some other Mom's about vacations, etc, I go to scratch an itch on my ankle. Much to my dismay, my freshly shaven legs are sporting a patch. A patch of what, you ask? A patch of hair. Not short stubbly hair, but a patch of longish, dark, ugly, at least 1 month's worth of hair. It appears I have been missing a spot. Not a spot, a PATCH. It looked like a thicket! So embarassing. I spent the rest of the time at the pool trying to strategically hide it. Thank God it started raining and we got to leave.

My question is, am I the only one who does this?? Am I the only crappy lady-scaper out there? Please tell me if I am alone or not.

Yours in shaving,

Deb