Overheard the other night...

Sean (turning around to look at me): "I'm starting to think that you think Anderson Cooper is hot."

Deb: (trying to refrain from laughing her ass of in Sean's face) " What makes you think that?"


How quickly they catch on.

I'm here.

Saw a lot of these guys at our 4th of July parade. My opinion is, a kilt is a SKIRT. Weigh in here. Kilt = skirt?

Ashamed, and COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT.

***Hanging my head in embarassment***

Has it really been a week since I've posted? Are any of you still out there? Here's hoping that you are. If not, then this blog will remain only for my mere entertainment. As we all know, an entertained Deb is better than a bored Deb.

I digress.

So, I'm working on a 100 things segment for Debland, because, well, you know, I'm sure I haven't told you all there is to know yet. Sadly, my plans for getting this together have been impeded with silly things such as my new Philosophy class, last week of school for the kids, getting ready for a huge party at my house Saturday, oh, and one last tiny little detail. We're leaving for vacation Sunday. Pass the Xanax please.

In the meantime, while I get my shit together, I wanted to share this creepy ass book that I saw at Petsmart yesterday. Really. Is this really necessary?

Yeah. Exactly.

If you're still hanging around, comment and say hi. I'm needy like that.

Taking some of the "Dick" out of Cheney...

People who know me well, know that I have never been, nor will ever be a Dick Cheney fan. This is putting it mildly. However, yesterday's headline led me to believe that perhaps, at least on this subject, he and I can agree. Glad to know there is something reasonable about this man...

By the way, comments welcome on this one! I know politics can get touchy, but I'm all for a spirited (and respectful) debate. I understand some of my readers do not share my opinion, but am curious to know as a whole what my readers think.

Cheney on gay marriage: 'Freedom for everyone'

WASHINGTON – Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday he supports gays being able to marry but believes states, not the federal government, should make the decision.
"I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone," Cheney said in a speech at the National Press Club. "I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish."
Cheney, who has a gay daughter, said marriage has always been a state issue.
"And I think that's the way it ought to be handled today, that is, on a state-by-state basis. Different states will make different decisions. But I don't have any problem with that. I think people ought to get a shot at that," he said.

I'll bet a lot of guys will purposely park their cars illegally...

A simple wish

I do not wish good things for the person who thought that styrofoam packing peanuts were a good idea. In fact, when they die, I think they should be packed in them when buried.

Gotta go and clean up the mess...

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

So it has been a little warm around here lately. Not super hot, around 80 degrees. Nice weather. I've broken out the capri pants and bermuda shorts...nothing crazy. Unfortunately, some of my fellow citizens seem to have taken the warm weather and run with it. Over the past few days, I have seen a disproportionate number of men driving around WITHOUT SHIRTS ON.

Now, if it looked like this fine specimen, we would not be having an issue...

Yes, that is Anderson Cooper. Yumalicious.

No friends, what I have been seeing is this...

Manboobage. Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not hating on anyone here, but perhaps we shouldn't DRIVE AROUND IN OUR CARS LIKE THIS SO EVERYONE HAS TO SEE.

It's like I'm living in an episode of Cops. Oy.

Things you don't want to have happen to you...

1. Have your left contact lens rip in half in your eye while driving on a winding road. This is highly unpleasant.


2. Continue to drive, with one eye shut.


3. Try to do your shopping with one eye shut. You look like Popeye.

That was today.

Yesterday -

1. Put off spring "ladyscaping" for too long. You'll have a fight with this...

My Schick Intuition will never be the same. It obviously doesn't have very good intuition, because it had no idea what feats it was going to have to perform. I'm thinking it will go on strike.

2. Go to a fabric store, only to get yelled at by the woman working there because I don't know a lot about fabric. WTF? Aren't they supposed to help you there? I DO NOT think they are supposed to ask you why you are there if you don't know what you're talking about. Yes, that really happened.

3. Go to IKEA for a "few things." It never is a few things when you go into their fab marketplace.

That, my friends, is what is going on in Debland. It's an exciting life, but someone has to lead it.

Introductions

I had planned for this day, but it was like planning for a party that I didn't know when would happen!

I'm on TopMomma!!!! http://www.topmomma.com/

Welcome Top Momma readers!! I wanted everything to be perfect when you came, but I just wasn't prepared enough. Kind of like having someone pop over when your house isn't in order, which for me is a frequent occurence.

I'm Deb. Nice to meet you. This is Debland. Debland is a fun and silly place where I can just be me. There is something for everyone here, or at least I have convinced myself of that. Come take a look around...I talk about a little bit of everything, such as:

• Things you should not buy your kids -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/onmylist-books-you-probably-shouldn-buy.html

• adventures with my not crafty self -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-happens-when-you-dare-crazy-person.html

• hospital stays -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-was-actually-sign-on-my-dads.html

• things I need -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/08/what-do-you-need.html

• boobs and trips to NYC -

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-want-to-be-part-of-itnew-york-new.html

This is simply a taste of Debland. I hope you'll sit back, put your feet up, and read a while. Come back often, and introduce yourself to me too! Always room for new friends...

Introductions

School's out for summer...well actually only 3 weeks.

Another semester is over. I was fortunate enough to get a 99 in one class and a 96 in my other one. Woo hoo!!


This whole going back to school thing has certainly has its ups and downs. Life as a "non trad" as I'm called certainly differs from that of a recently graduated high school student for sure.

Not that I'm complaining. It's just a different life than I had originally expected for myself. Then again, isn't life vastly different in many ways than the one we picture back in the days of our ignorant youth?


Oddly enough, I am a far better student now than I was in my past life. Contrasting with my ventures in high school and early years of college, I care deeply about my school performance and see things now with a far greater clarity than I ever would have had I graduated college in 1993, as I "should have."


Do I have regrets? Sometimes. Don't we all? I'm starting to believe however, that things are working out exactly as they should have. When I started back to school last January (08), it seemed as if this would never work. I'm now slated to graduate this December. While it is only an Associates degree, progress is progress and I am proud to have made it this far. That bachelors doesn't seem as insurmountable as it once did. Besides, I am very excited at the prospect of holding a degree that has the word "ass" in it.





Last Friday I got to experience a major fringe benefit of being an adult non trad student. See exhibit A:

Yes. I got to have drinks at the Ritz Carlton in downtown Philly with my way fun professor. Yes, it is as nice as it looks. Yes, the drinks were very expensive. Yes, it was super fun and chic.

Yes, after 3 cosmopolitans, I am glad I took the train.

Still here...

In case you were wondering, I'm still around.

Does anyone else find it disturbing that I like looking at this picture of the back of my hair?

Just wondering.

Even if you're not a cat person...

this picture of Ellie is pretty cute, no?

Help me caption this picture...

Aftermath

Thanks to all of you for your good wishes. J is doing very well after her surgery, and things are slowly moving in the right direction for K. You guys rock.

Got to spend Friday night in J's hospital room. This is the same hospital my dad was in earlier this year. I would imagine you guys remember the fun mayhem I was able to create there in January. Just in case, check this out...

http://debland.blogspot.com/2009/01/his-ass-is-not-grassfor-now.html

Now given the fact that it wasn't my parents who were in the hospital, and that I didn't have the distinct pleasure of trying to rile up my mother, I will admit that I was much better behaved this time. However, I am pleased to announce my accomplishments from this recent hospital stay...

• I got to have a sleepover party in J's hospital room. Yes, this means I was able to spend the night in a hospital recliner. Awesome! A recliner, that whenever I decided to move, would make a fart sound. I'm thinking that the hospital staff was slightly dismayed at what would seem like excessive bowel sounds from room 249.
• I invited our friend Sue to come over to the hospital Friday night for a little hangout time. By the time she got to the hospital, the one entrance door was locked. She called me from outside the hospital (actually in the street our room was facing). Just for a point of reference, so she could find us when she got in, I, at her bidding, raised the shade and shook my booty out the window. Quite a show.
• Had a great visit with Sue and J. J. decided to partake in narcotics consumption, and wound up passing out and sleeping the whole time. Obviously Nancy Reagan's "just say no" campaign did not work on J. However, Sue and I decided that she is indeed a great listener.
• J woke up and we had a great heart to heart talk in the middle of the night. (ok, fine, this is a serious comment, but whatever...)
• I got to eat Famous Amos cookies from the vending machine, and had a Coke for breakfast. I also was able to snag the yogurt off of J's tray. Lemon.
• Made friends with the nursing assistant who brought water around. Convinced him to stay in the room for a bit to hang out. We banged styrofoam glasses while declaring cheers, and I tried to cajole him to help me figure out a way to get the hospital nutrition to serve lattes to friends that decide to camp out in their friend's hospital room. Didn't work. Drank Coke instead.
• Made friends with Cindy, an awesome nurse. Had fun visits in the room with her that consisted of shoe shopping stories, comparing our Dansko shoes, and just had some general fun therapy type conversations with her. Tried to convince her that she should just ditch work and hang with us for the day. Again, not successful, because apparently Cindy wanted to keep her job.

Truthfully though, the best part was that J did awesome, and got discharged yesterday!!! YAY!!!

If any of you are ever in the hospital, I am available for hire. I'm a cheap date. Just buy me some Famous Amos, and help me score a latte, and I'm yours.

Not everything is funny...

I just don't have it in me today. Too much going on. Today, I want to ask all of my readers to send good thoughts to two of my friends who have a little much on their plate right now. My one friend J is having major surgery today, my other friend K just is getting bombarded from all directions and needs some peace.

Can you guys remember them in your thoughts and prayers? That would be awesome.

I promise my next post will be the usual Deblandish stuff. Hey, I kind of like that word Deblandish - much better than outlandish, don't you think?

Found at the inlaws on Easter -

Yeah. I'm that immature.

2 times in one day...

I caved.

I did.

I installed LinkWithin. This little handy gadget will allow my readers to read old Debland posts. As I understand it, after any new posts I make, it will suggest old posts of mine to read. Since I have a fair amount of new readers, it may give you a glimpse into this bizarre mind that is me. Let me know what you think.

School update...last class today...got a shoulder rub after class, in front of the teacher.

Sigh. Oy. He obviously doesn't get it. Not looking for advice, just sharing with you, my faithful Debland devotees...

Can't decide...

Thanks to all of you for your most helpful responses regarding my school "situation". Although I loved all the input, these two really jumped out at me.


Anonymous:

Dan, Well bless your heart! I must decline, but my husband has several degrees and has offered to help.

another jones said...

Tell him it's been burning when you pee lately and you really don't want to miss your doctors appointment.


By the way, here's what really happened. I sent this email back to him, after discussing it with Sean (my husband).

Dan,

You are welcome for the notes. I hope they are helpful.

As far as getting together to study, I was talking with Sean (my husband), and he is going to be working on our patio he is building this weekend, so I'm going to need to be home to keep an eye on the kids. He had a good idea though - you certainly are welcome to come study over here if you like. Sunday afternoon would be best for me. Otherwise, another option would be to get a few people together from class sometime and study at school.

Let me know your thoughts. See you in class today.

Deb

I get to class last Thursday, to find him waiting for me. We briefly discuss him studying at my house, with my family here. He seems less than thrilled with this possibility. We agree to email if we want to pursue it. No one emailed each other.

I think this case is closed. I am grateful for the funny interlude it provided - but I must admit, my summer ONLINE class is looking pretty good right now...

It is my last lecture day today!! Almost done...

Congrats to Anonymous, and another Jones. You guys just might land yourselves a Debland tee.

Best answer wins...

Well, went to school yesterday, and to my relief, there was no fanfare or nonsense from the young man who asked me out the class before...if you need a recap, click here...

http://debland.blogspot.com/2009/04/wanna-go-steady.html

So, you can imagine my surprise when I got this email on my iphone today - I copied it and pasted it below... (also, I need to add that he knows I am married. We've discussed it before.)



Thank you again for the notes. They are very detailed. What are you doing this weekend? I was wondering if you would like to come over and start studying some of this stuff for the finals. I am suppose to be kid free this weekend. You can email me back or let me know in class tomorrow. I'll see you then.

Dan



****umm...hello?????????????????

This is where you all come in. Please help your ole' pal Deb out by posting a reply email in the comment section. Be as creative as you wish. That is all I have to say right now. I'm pretty much in shock.

Monday Madness

A few random things swirling around in my mind today.

1. Have to read an entire book today and write a paper about it due tomorrow. Hmmm. I wonder if going out to breakfast with friends is a good or bad choice?

2. Had a bunch of girls over on Saturday night. 11 people...church girls. They are way cool. I think they learned some new stuff from me. Thanks to a CERTAIN BLOG READER OF MINE, THEY ALL NOW ARE KIDDING ME ABOUT MY "30 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND!" Yeah. great. They all took delight in rubbing my shoulders and asking me for my class notes.

3. Blew out my back on Sat. Putting laundry in the dryer. It is a dangerous life here in Debland.

4. Are you following me? If not, please feel free to add yourself as a follower. Just scroll down the right hand side of the blog, and click follow. You'll be doing me a favor. An ego boost. Might even save me another week of therapy. Don't make me turn this into a PBS pledge drive.

5. Check out this website - http://www.lovelylisting.com/. It is a hilarious site of crazy homes for sale. It will provide a good laugh on this rainy Monday morning.

That's all for now. Must start getting people ready for school. Me included.

Wanna go steady?

I finished the bulk of my crushing school load!!! Oh yeah!! I now resemble a washed up, overstressed, ball of exhaustion. And I'm not talking about the book I have to read and write a paper on by Tuesday right now...too stressful. Thinking happy thoughts.



As I was walking through school yesterday, I realized that in many ways, I felt like I was in high school. This particular building I'm in this semester as I have mentioned is kind of an example of all things you should not do when designing and building a college building. Think 60's mental hospital/correctional institution/government building. While navigating the halls yesterday, I was dodging copious numbers of 18 -20 year olds who were bouncing around, screaming, pushing...you know, having fun. I felt like I was a misfit in some sort of dysfunctional John Hughes movie. I'm not to the point where I'm old, hunched over, and pointing at "those damn kids" yet, but give it 10 years and that would probably be the case. Good thing I'll graduate this December.



I arrived early at History class, only to be greeted by my teacher, who was eating lunch. To be specific, he had a Mediterranean plate. Hummus, tabbouleh, feta, etc. Good but stinky. While chatting with him, I was treated to a dancing piece of tabbouleh that was stuck in the corner of his lip. I wasn't sure of the ettiquette there, so I didn't do anything.



I should add at this point that I really, really like the professor. I found out he isn't much older than I am, (only 6 years) and he seems to appreciate having a student that actually remembers some of the history he teaches. And, someone who laughs at his dumb jokes. He is actually funny.



So, class starts. Over the course of the class, I am asked by a couple of people if I can give them notes from missed classes. No big deal. I get email addresses, and promise to send them out this weekend. After class, I linger and chat with the professor along with this other student who is in his early 30s. This is a common occurence. There is a nice dynamic between us. We agree that after the semester, the three of us are totally going downtown for cocktails. (Note: this is another advantage of being an older student that gets along with your professor- free drinks!)



We (the other student and I) leave class. I tell him I'll email him the notes this weekend. He puts his arm around my shoulders, rubs them and tells me that I should just bring them over some night to his place, and we can just hang out. Enter the John Hughes movie. Maybe Sixteen Candles. Except he isn't Jake Ryan, and I am certainly no Molly Ringwald.

Oh, and one other small detail? I'M MARRIED.

I smiled and said, "I'll just email them to you. Have a good weekend!"

My overall reaction? Surprised, and flattered. Not going to follow up on the invitation.

The best part? He thought I was 29.

School rocks.

It's raining, it's pouring. Fun with Deb at the store, Vol ??

Follow along here, it should make "sense" in a little bit...

It's raining here today. It's raining a lot. I have to go take a test today at school, so I'm contemplating my outerwear. Contemplating it while I should be studying.

So, raining made me think of trenchcoats.

Trenchcoats made me think of flashers...

Flashers made me think of Target, or what I saw at Target the other day......clear plastic raincoats. In ugly ass colors. Now, mind you, I've never flashed anyone,(sort of), so I'm not an expert here. I DO think, however, that if one used this raincoat for flashing, it would kind of take the mystery out of things. Just sayin.

Yeah. Flashing. Hmmm. I am a bit messed up. Back to European History studies...

Must. buckle. down.

I have a horrendously busy school week this week.

Problem: I don't feel like doing all this stuff. I am fairly overwhelmed at the moment.

Wish me luck...

Who could be such a loser?...oh yeah, me.

I feel like Linus did when the Great Pumpkin never showed up. Like a kid who got coal in their stocking. Like someone who farts in public in a really, really quiet place.


I feel stupid!! Why?

I FORGOT MY BLOGGIVERSARY!

Yes, last year in the beginning of April, I decided to grace the blog world with my presence. All this year, I had plotted. I dreamt, I thought about how great my one year anniversary would be!

Apparently, me being in school, being a mom, and all of the other hats I wear have taken precedence. They have robbed me. I'm officially robbed! Oh, the humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait! I have balloons!!!

Oh, wait, they're not blown up. They just look like deflated testes. (Not that I've ever seen deflated testes, but it is what I think they would look like. Well, hopefully they wouldn't be one red and one blue, but you know what I mean. Right? RIGHT??????)

Sigh. Happy bloggaversary. From me to you. And to your testes or other special parts you may have.

Fun with Karen and Bob, part 1

Karen and Bob are my parents. They are 2 retired crazy people. Perhaps one of my siblings can jump in here and explain why, but that may be a bit difficult.



Anyhow, they have the stupidest conversations and exchanges. Stupid, but amusing. These folks have way too much time on their hands. Here is an excerpt from last Friday at their house...



Bob: " I can't find the funnies (aka comics)"



Karen: "Did you check the blue chair?"



Bob: "Of course I did Karen!"



Karen: "Well I don't know where they are then."



Bob: "It doesn't matter. I'll be fine "



5 minutes later



Bob: "I can't find my funnies. I'm turning into a cranky old man."



Me: "Turning into one? Why don't you go see what is on Fox News?"

Bob: "Very funny."


Some time passes. Dad (Bob) decides to amuse himself by watching the 12:00 news turned up way too loud, while watching sitting in the dark.

Deb: "That is so depressing. He's in the dark watching the TV."

Karen: "He always does that. That is how he likes to watch the news."

I decide to leave. Sadly, a huge thunderstorm starts. I decide to postpone leaving the madness so I don't get drenched. My mom and I sit in the living room. Dad comes in, and sits in his blue chair that is automated with a remote control. (don't ask) The phone rings.

Bob: (staring at the caller id) " I don't know who it is, I'm not getting it."

Karen:Well it might be Ann (her friend). Pass me the phone."

Bob: (starting to get up)

Karen: "No Bob, just throw it."

Bob: " I'm not going to throw the phone."

Karen: "Just throw it over here."

Bob: "Karen, I'm not in a throwing position. Hold on."

Seriously, l am not making this up. Dad grabs his remote, pushes the button to push his ass up out of the chair a bit (it is one of those old people chairs), and tosses the phone. Not only does he not get it to my mom, but it goes way over onto the other side of the room.

Karen: "What kind of throwing position is that?"

Me: " You know, I just could have passed that."

Thunder and lightning continues. It is about 12:30.

Mom: "I have to get busy with dinner.":

Me: "Mom, it's lunchtime."

Mom: "Well, I have to look at the label on the canned salmon to see how much sodium it has."

Me: "Ok, that will just take a minute."

Mom: "But I have to calculate your father's sodium intake for the day."

Me: "Ok, that will take a few minutes. I think you're ok."( I should add that my mom went to an Ivy League college. She can do the math)

Bob: "Karen, have you seen the funnies?"

Karen: " Oh, I put them out with yesterdays paper, after I hid the crossword puzzle."

Bob: (makes some audible sound of disgust)

Me: "Mom, why did you hide the crossword puzzle?"

Karen: " Because I couldn't get it and it was annoying me."

Me: "That's it, I'm leaving."

Karen: " It's still raining."

Me: "I don't care, I have to go."

Karen: " Where?"

Me: "Therapy. Thanks to you I know what I'll be talking about."


Yup. Fun, fun people. Fun, old, retired people with too much time on their hands. There is more where this came from.

P.S. I'm swamped with school, so forgive me if I don't post much. Keep checking back and I'll do the best I can!

Fun at the store with Deb, Vol 3

Let's all just take a minute and lament the fate of Mr. Carrot.

Setting: The hot foods bar at the store.What happened? My hypotheses...

1. They were playing The Apprentice, and carrot got fired.

2. Carrot is having a identity disorder of some type.

3. Carrot got voted off the island.

4. Carrot just needs some quiet time.

5. Carrot is incarcerated on the hot plate.

6. Carrot is in a sauna.

7. Carrot has oppositional defiance disorder and won't conform.

8. Carrot desperately escaped to avoid his certain fate of ingestion, only to die a slow death of dehydration.

9. Carrot is an advertisement (i.e. sandwich board) for the carrot population.

10. Carrot is a victim of discrimination and/or bullying.

It is times like these where we must think about the carrot, and what society could have done to prevent this. Other hypotheses welcomed.

Something more appetizing to look at.

Went to the shore this weekend with some girlfriends to celebrate my friend Susan's birthday!! Now, I know that a picture of my face being waxed is awesome, and delicious, but check out what we got to eat:

It was as delicious as it was pretty.

Happy Birthday Susan!!

No one got drunk or sloppy, so these are the only pics I have to share. If you want, I do have more waxing pictures though!

Thumbs up for Friday!!

Try not to become overwhelmed by the sexiness you are about to see...

update...

Thanks to all who weighed in on the situation I described yesterday. Just thought I would follow up on what she did.

The next day, she called up the hostess and explained what had happened. So, the host checked the chair, and sure enough, there was a minimal amount of stain. It cleaned up just fine and she and the host had a good chuckle.

I think my friend has more courage than I do, for sure.

I'm thinking I should start an advice column.

Thanks to all who commented on the bratty kid down the street...

So, a friend of mine, once she found out I had asked your opinion about that situation, wanted me to ask my blog readers how they would handle a situation she found herself in. When I say friend, I mean an actual friend, not a "friend" who is really me. Believe me, if it were me, I would tell you. It's too good not to share.

Apologies in advance to my male readers, although of course, they too should weigh in on the subject.

Said friend is in peri menopause. Apparently this means you can have irregular and sometimes heavy bleeding during your cycle. Unfortunately her cycle fell during the week of her book club. But, the book club has both snacks and wine. So, she went (walked there).

3 or 4 glasses of wine later, she makes a trip to the restroom, only to find out that she has bled through everything. Not good. She then goes back to the living room to check out the chair she was sitting in to see if it too, got, well, adulterated.

Here is the problem. The book club was still in full swing. It was dimly lit with candles, which made a thorough chair assesment impossible. She also was a tad tipsy. She excused herself and went home.

Here is the question: What would you do the next morning? Would you call the host of the book club that you don't know super well and ask about the chair? Or, would you leave well enough alone and hope for the best? Or, is there another solution?

Weigh in folks. Oh, and if you are currently experiencing your Aunt Flo right now, let me be the first to wish you "a happy period."

Your vote - brat, or not a brat?

Before I launch into my latest story, I have to fill you all in on the Anderson Cooper picture. Here is how the conversation went...

Deb: Hey, do we have Photoshop?

Sean: No, we don't.

Deb: But I thought we did.

Sean: No, we don't have it.

Deb: But weren't you editing a picture recently?

Sean: yes, but it wasn't with Photoshop.

Deb: Which program was it?

Sean: I don't know, some online one.

Deb: So, you know how to edit pictures?

Sean: Yes, why?

Deb: (chickening out) No reason, just wondering.

Sean: (gives me a look and goes back to his This Old House)

As of now, there will be no pic of me with Anderson. However, one astute reader did comment that surely Anderson was reading my blog on his laptop.

*******************************************************************************

Anyhow, on to bigger and brattier things. Bus stop crap. I think I've mentioned a few times that I am not really a bus stop person. Too much mommy chatter or something. Plus, kids. Lots and lots of kids. Moms chatting + kids running rampant = not my style.

This story was relayed to me by my neighbor last week. I told her I would blog about it to get your opinions. There is this 2nd grade girl at our bus stop, who is rather precocious, and kind of nosy. (these are my assesments of her). Plus, her mom is not a friendly person.

Last week, my neighbor, who is a good mom, was standing at the bus stop with her son. While waiting, she puts her hand in her coat pocket only to discover the typical mom assortment of stuff that winds up in all of our pockets. She decides to sort through it while waiting. The little girl comes up to her, stares at her, and asks what she is doing. Meanwhile, it is clear what she is doing. This kid is 8. My neighbor politely tells her that she is sorting through some stuff in her pocket. Kid keeps staring at her. While sorting, a quarter drops out of my neighbor's hand, and lands on the ground in front of the kid. The bus comes. The kid scoops up the quarter, yells "I'm gonna buy a snack with this at lunch!" and runs and gets on the bus.

Her mother wasn't there. Even if she were, she wouldn't have done anything to the kid. Her oldest kid once hit a pregnant woman at the bus stop, and she shrugged it off. I digress though.

Tell me, is she a brat, or not a brat????

Don't you think he looks lonely?

A picture of Anderson Cooper in a hotel room checking email. Should I photoshop myself next to him, or would that be weird?

No Irish Luck here...

What is fun on St. Patrick's Day:

• Wearing green (unless it is a Thursday)
  
• being silly
  
• drinking
  
• celebrating

What isn't fun on St. Patrick's Day:

• Watching your husband hurl. Especially in the kitchen trashcan. (no, he hasn't been drinking)
• Wondering if you're going to catch whatever bug he has.
• Having psychosomatic sympathy stomach pains.

Hoping your day is healthier!!! Happy St. Patty's Day!!

Off to go buy a new trashcan...

Mmm, Mmm...good?

My last 24 hours:

1. Took my daughter downtown Friday night to play in her orchestra at the swanky Union League, which is basically a playground for the rich and snotty. I did NOT attend the concert as it was a fundraiser for her orchestra. $225.00 per ticket. No thanks. Their endowment isn't first on my list of things I'm worried about.

2. After concert: picked up her 10 year old friend at 9:45 at night to help out a friend of mine who needed her to stay at my house for a night.

3. Came home around 10:30. I had a test that had to be taken and turned in by midnight. It was midterm week this week. Had not quite finished studying for said test.

4. Attempted to finish studying listening to two giggling girls upstairs "trying to fall asleep".

5. Took test, turned it in by 11:45. Got an A. I rock. Actually, I'm lucky.

6. Went to bed at 1:00am.

7. Woke up in middle of night because our first cat (aka resident cat) broke into the girl's room to launch an attack on our newest cat Ellie. Managed to avert a major catfight without waking up tweens.

8. Woke up this morning to tweens jumping on beds with the 7 year old boy.

9. Stopped bed jumping.

10. Tried to go back to sleep.

11. Had to stop bed jumping again.

12. Gave up on the notion of sleeping. Got up and made breakfast.

13. Decide to take the kids to see Pink Panther 2. Stop at Wawa to pick up snacks to sneak into movie theater.

14. Go to theater with purse bulging full of contraband. Feel like a criminal at this point.

15. See movie. We are the only ones in the theatre. Weird. Funny movie.

16. Take kids out to Benihana for lunch. Try to keep 7 year old boy occupied while tweens have usurped my iphone to take pics of lunch and email them to borrowed tweens mom.

18. Came home, tweens play. The 7 year old is outside. Tween mom calls and says she is on the way to pick up.

19. My friend Jen calls. She needs to come borrow a blazer for her son for First Communion tomorrow at church. "No problem", I say. I'm always glad to see her and the kids.

20. Jen comes. Blazer fits. Tween mom comes. We hang out. Tween mom collects child and leaves. Jen says she is leaving to go make dinner for her family.


"Stay here," I said. Call hubby and have him come over. Let's do dinner.

Folks - I had nothing decent in the house to feed anyone. What was I thinking??? As I had mentioned, it was midterms this week, and the store trip just didn't really happen. Sean's been working non stop for weeks and hasn't been around, contributing to my lack of store-going. Here's what I gave them...

- leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes (from Tuesday)
- leftover stir fry (from Thursday)
- leftover Chinese dumplings
- frozen pizza

All leftovers, heated up and thrown together. Isn't that charming? Luckily for all parties involved, Jen's husband showed up with old soft pretzels. I believe they may have been the highlight of the meal. I have to say, that they are the most fab people who appreciate anything you offer. However, this is the lowest I've gone. I even forgot to serve Tim the tapioca pudding I promised him.

The hostess with the mostess!! I'm off in search of a bowl of cereal.

The second installment of...

Fun with Deb at the store!

I found this little gem at Wegman's.

Everyone, prepare yourselves for -

Every once in a while, it is fun to have a big one.

Parenting Do's and Don'ts

I've been out of the baby phase for some time now. My kids are 10 and 7. So, when my friend Emily sent this to me last night, I was thinking how helpful they would have been back in the day. Here's hoping I can help someone out with these helpful tips...

Remember this?

http://debland.blogspot.com/2008/12/onmylist-books-you-probably-shouldn-buy.html


Check out this list...

Little Golden Books That Never Made It

• 
  1. You Are Different and That's Bad
• 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
• 3. Dad's New Wife Robert
• 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
• 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
• 6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
• 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
• 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• 9. All Cats Go to Hell
• 10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
• 11. Some Kittens Can Fly
• 12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
• 13. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
• 14. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
• 15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
• 16. Strangers Have the Best Candy
• 17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
• 18. You Were an Accident
• 19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
• 20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
• 21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
• 22. Your Nightmares Are Real
• 23.. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
• 24. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
• 25. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
• 26.. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

There is so much to say, yet I'm speechless.

It's been a long time since I've...

won a blog award!! This little gift came to me courtesy of Rachel, from http://areservationforsix.blogspot.com/. Make sure you go check her out! No, I'm not saying that just 'cause she gave me something. (But it doesn't hurt.)

Wanna see it? I knew you did. Behold, the "Premios Dardo" blog award! Rachel calls it the smoking typewriter award, which seems more apropo. Here is what it means:

"given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing... created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Wow. I feel so literaryish. Ha! It says I have values! Ha! Oh, wait, it says personal values. Yeah. My values may differ from that of the general population. But the good news is I have this venue to spread my "values" all over the place, which to me, is a blessing.

Rule 2 of getting this award: I have to put my name in a Google search in any fashion I choose, and share with you the top 10 results.

For the first 5, I put in "DEB THINKS". Apparently, this is what is on my mind -

1. 
   
   Deb thinks Brad Pitt should be sexiest man alive - No, Deb doesn't. Have we not gone over the whole Anderson Cooper thing here? Gees.


2. 
   
   Deb thinks green - I do, but NOT on Thursdays. In my high school, if you wore green on a Thursday, you were apparently horny. Thursdays were called, "horny green Thursday."


3. 
   
   Deb thinks Carly is pregnant - That hussy? Who doesn't think so?


4. 
   
   Deb thinks we could eliminate that and take walks or ride bikes - Umm, no.


5. 
   
   Deb thinks she has jokes! - No, Deb KNOWS she has jokes.

For the next 5, I put in "DEB DOESN'T.

6. Deb doesn't add an option in update-alternatives - WTF?

7. Debbie doesn't do Dallas - I stopped doing that a long time ago.

8. Deb doesn't apply cleanly - Is nothing sacred anymore? Really, did we have to go there?

9. Debbie doesn't do battles - obviously, Google doesn't know me very well.

10. Debra doesn't take the dare - see above. I do enjoy a good game of truth or dare.

Well, that was fun. I learned a lot about myself. Instant therapy. What the hell am I paying that doctor for anyhow?

So, I'm supposed to pass this on to 10 people, but I will instead pass it on to all of my fab readers who would like to take this award, play with Google searches, and pass it on to friends. If you're feeling lazy and selfish, just take the award and do nothing with it. I make no demands upon anyone, with the exception that they come read every day, comment, buy a Debland shirt, start a game of Scrabble on FB with me, and otherwise help hold up my fragile self esteem. See, I'm an easy cheap date!

One thousand, nine hundred thirty one.

Aka...1,931.

This is how many umm...times, uhh, that my aaah, professor said umms & aahs in the month of February.

Please join me in congratulating Jessica Bern on winning the UMM contest!!

Jessica guessed 1,900. Pretty damn close, huh?

Jessica not only wins a $25.00 gift certificate to one of these fine stores:

Starbucks
Bath and Body
Kohl's
Macy's
Home Depot
HomeGoods
Dunkin Donuts
Barnes and Noble
Amazon.com
Trader Joes

but she also wins a custom Debland t-shirt!! Actually, Jessica gets one item of her choice from my new Debland CafePress store.

I am currently waiting on Jessica's acceptance speech, and will post it as soon as I get it. I'm sure this is better than any silly Oscar or Academy Award.

Bad news: The rest of you did not win. If any of you are feeling sorry for yourselves, just be glad that you weren't there and had to listen to umm...aaah...umm...uhh over and over again.

Good news: You too can own your very own Debland novelty items!

Go visit my new shop at www.cafepress.com/debland

and buy something nice for yourself. All shirts have printing on the front and the back. Yup, they'll be staring at your backside, people!

No, I am not making a profit. I had the option of marking up the items, and just said no.

That's just how I roll.

Don't I rock?

I thought so.

Congratulations Jessica!!

We have a winner!!!

Tune in tomorrow for the winner of the umm...uhh...aaah...contest!!!!

Yes, I know who the winner is, but I'm simply too catatonic to do a proper post. Feel free to whine/yell at me in the comments section.

NYC Recap

It all started with tickets given to me by my friend MommyC! Here is my sister Lisa proudly displaying our good fortune.Never wanting to miss an opportunity to be on camera, I felt the need to show mine off too.Lisa tried out to be their go-go dancer for the morning, so she got a front row seat. Look at her gloating. At a commerical break. Note, I was not trying to get a picture of Kelly here. Anderson is in the background...hubba hubba.
Kelly cavorting with Lisa during a commercial...I can only imagine she is saying..."Me, 100 lbs? bite your tongue!!" Again, note Mr. Man of Incredible Hotness in the background. I'm pretty sure at this point he's looking into the crowd to find me.

One of the guests - The Donald! His hair is as ugly as you would imagine, yet he was a charming guest. Very funny dry sense of humor. Can't imagine why I would like that

The next shot should not be confused as a gratuitous picture of Anderson's ass. It is simply a shot depicting art in journalism.

I did ask out loud to the audience coordinator. (during a commercial) if Anderson would go out to lunch with us. I even offered to pay! I can't imagine why they said no. After that, it was all a blur...

Even the Tom Selleck segment, which I did not get any pictures of. I was too consumed with Mr. Cooper. Upon exiting the studio, we were greeted by staff from ABC. My first thought was that I would be arrested for harassment, then to my delight, we were given tickets to ANOTHER SHOW!!!

Guess which one? Guess who was the guest? Another super hot person who surely would want to hang out with us, right?

We got to go to The View!!

Rob Lowe was the guest!!!!!!!!!!

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot!

He is an engaging and, how do I say it, a HOT GUEST.

My buddy, the warm up comedian from The View, Thomas J. Kelly, was kind enough to introduce me to the whole audience, and even gave out my Debland web address!

How freakin' cool is that?

I want to return the favor...go visit Tom at one of these websites

www.ihateweddings.com

www.tsa.com

www.thomasjkelly.com

Not only is he hysterical, he is a nice guy.

After spending the whole day at TV shows, we ran out of time to do lunch and shopping. It was still worth it. We made a quick run to H&H bagels, Zabars, and for the best part, we went to Magnolia Cupcakes. Nothing like some unbelievable cupcakes to top off a great day! We had the following awesome flavors:

• carrot cake with cream cheese icing
• red velvet
• devil's food with marshmallow icing
• vanilla with vanilla bean icing
• chocolate mocha
• Anderson Cooper - mmm...that one was my fav.

It was a great day with great company!